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I have no idea where to start. I used a referral service for the assisted living home that my sister has been in but they don’t refer to nursing homes and I’ve heard nothing but horrible things about them. If you’ve chosen a nursing home for a loved one, how did you go about doing this?

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When my mother suddenly required nursing home care, my dad used what he called his “ old people network” asking many of the older people he knew through the community and his church what they knew. This is an age group that often has reason to visit nursing homes and sees what they’re like firsthand. They also live in trepidation of needing one so their ears are tuned to listen and learn on the subject. They know where to go and where to avoid. This worked well for us
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jacobsonbob Jul 2021
Excellent point!
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We were lucky in that we had a good discharge planner at the hospital. She looked at mom's financials and gave us the names 4 places that would accept Medicaid after 2 years of private pay (we thought that was very important).

We visited each place twice, once with an appointment and once just showing up.

The smell test is important. One place stank and the nurse said "oh, someone just had an accident". 2 days later, same smell. Nope.

Other than that, we based our decision on access to religious services and distance.
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disgustedtoo Jul 2021
Smell test is something I recommend, but I also suggest using ALL senses when making the choice. Going at different times of the day is also important.
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I will place my husband in a MC facility run by the same organization that owned the AL facility where I placed my stepmother. I looked at 2 other places while trying to find someplace for respite care. I looked at two other facilities; one of which was a group home. It was a large house and he would have a large well lit room. But, there was only one bathroom and one shower room for 8 residents.
The thing that totally turned me off is when the owner told one of the residents to go wait on her room with the door closed while she gave me the tour. None of the other residents were visible. And all the bedroom doors were closed. It made me very uneasy about what kind of care or activities would be available.
The other MC facility was nice, but I didn't get a warm feeling. The residents that I saw were clean and neat and the facility was clean and odor free, but there was no joy.
The one I decided on was warm and inviting. The residents were all sitting in the living room playing as best they could, a trivia game. The building was spotless, odorless, and bright. There are activities scheduled every 30 to 60 minutes. What impressed me the most is the obvious love the staff showed to the residents. One lady was noticeably upset about something and the staff member knelt down, held her hand while listening to her, then hugged her. The lady sighed and settled down.
That is the care I want for my husband.
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My mother was to be dumped, broken hip et al, out of the hospital, and I learned of it the morning the dumpage was to take place.

Knowing nothing about it, I chose the one nearest my home that had the best parking, just barely before the ambulance taking her AWAY from the hospital pulled away. The distance paid off big time.

She had rehab there, and following a long very difficult 9 months being cared for in my home, returned there, and it was a sweet and wonderfully cared for life for 5 1/2 years before she died there.

As it happened, their public state and National ratings were top notch, but every other thing about it was wonderful too, a faithful and devoted care staff, some of the best therapy I, as a therapist myself, had ever observed, and an going sense that the needs of their residents came first.

Choosing? Pleasant cozy atmosphere, smells good, safety first always, aromas of something yummy at lunch, smiling residents, smiling staff, access to TV, activities, entertainment, welcome feeling as soon as you enter.

Actually, after you’ve past the care ratings, you can trust the decision making to where you’d like to be if you were frail or confused or ill.

I’ve already told the care staff at my mom’s SNF that if I were ever to need the type of care they offer, I’d want to be living right there with them, and they AND MY FAMILY know I MEAN IT.
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Cover66 Jun 2021
Sadly there are more bad ones then good.
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I ended up hiring 24 7 Care for my 97 yr old Dad.

But, I'm considering a Live In since the cost would be at least half of hiring several Caregivers doing 12 hr shifts.
I did think about a Nursing Home and I wouldn't put a Love One in a Nursing Home unless I've stopped by a few different times unannounced and looked around and talked to a few of the residents.
Main't thing I decided was if the Nursing Home wouldn't allow a Camera in a Lived Ones Room then I wouldn't check my Lived One in that Nursing Home.

I use Nest Cameras at my Dad's house so I can watch him and see how the Caregivers are treating him any time I want 24 7.

Nest Cameras are easy to install and gave me Peace of Mind.

Prayers
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AnnReid Jul 2021
Curious about something thought - would you be comfortable having your LO watched by someone else’s Nest Camera?

I understand and appreciate your desire to be able to maintain surveillance, but there are privacy concerns too.
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Research, visit, visit, research. This web site have can help you tremendously as the advisors can assist you in identifying needs, financial position, location and assist you coordinating visits to the facilities. I would recommend you first visit with an advisor and then alone for a second visit, preferably unannounced and during mealtime (and if possible ask to eat a meal there). Also ask for activities schedule and a meal calendar (they should have a monthly schedule or at least a weekly one). Ask if possible to speak with outside relatives of the resident (1 or 2) and away from facility employees (this will allow for a frank and honest conversation).

Online reviews for these facilities are very unreliable and often times the reviewers can be paid to write them and negative review can be removed specially if management company or ownership changes.

Make sure to ask for move in incentives. :-)

Best wishes and good luck. .
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disgustedtoo Jul 2021
Yes, one should never rely solely on brochures and online reviews. They can be helpful in making a list of places to check, but there is nothing more important that GOING to the places, preferably several times, different times of the day, and using ALL your senses while you are there.
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None of these places are a holiday inn. If you have to have one you need to visit them yourself. Talk to some of the residents and the people who may be there visiting the NH residents. Keep in mind if you chose a place you can always relocate a LO to another NH, but it may not be practical to do so.
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when my father started having major issues with dementia, my brother and I contacted several nursing homes in our area and arranged for a visit to walk thru, etc. (yes now that give them time to make sure things are good but you have to schedule this). We went thru at least 2...........one reminded me of a prison, they had a lock down unit. it was behind a large steel door with a little window, special code needed to get in and out. but the people could roam all over back there without worry. The next one was alot nicer, people could not get out due to having a buzzer on the front door so that when they got close, it automatically locked. So you have to check around, visit and ask around to other people you know about those places. We ended up going with the nicer place only because my father had fallen and could no longer be taken care of at home. The place we chose was good, they called anytime something was wrong, even a bruise on his finger. Check out online for their place and see reviews. I wish you luck
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https://www.health.ny.gov/facilities/nursing/select_nh/
you may find this website helpful.
Word of mouth, reading and visiting are all essential.
Check into Medicaid and what documentation you’ll need to begin to gather. Good Luck!
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TouchMatters Jul 2021
Thank you for this information.
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Go to Medicare.com. There you can find ratings of nursing homes, hospices—wherever they pay out. There an overall rating of one to five stars. Then they break it down to several categories. In addition to the overall rating, my primary criteria was care of the residents. I didn’t have much choice over the first two places and they were busy earning their one star rating.

When I decided to place my brother into hospice care, I was adamant about moving him from the nightmare place. Even hospice nurses didn’t like that he place. I looked up facilities that looked good to me and the hospice social worker called around. He ended up going to one that had an overall three star rating and five star for resident care. He has Medicare and Medicaid and nursing homes like to limit the number of beds with this kind of payment because it’s less than what a pay out of pocket payment would be. He’s actually improved. I also found this hospice on the Medicare website. It was one out of two that all the various ratings were high and above the national average and they’ve been great. I wish more people knew about Medicare’s rating system. And of course tour these facilities.
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Riverdale Jul 2021
What do you mean by where they pay out?
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