Once again the nursing home has become a possibility. I don’t look forward to it or dread it. It is something that will simply happen or it will not. I just wonder what it will feel like if it were to happen. I am too numb at the moment to wrap my head around the magnitude of it. What will it be like to walk away from that place knowing I’m going home to a place she will never see again. The house she helped build with her own hand isn’t her home anymore.
im about to do the same thing this coming week. Except I have to have my Mom picked for evaluation by the authorities because she doesn’t think she needs help. My heart is torn apart but I know I have to work and cannot deal with her doing all the things she does. Calling the law on her apartment manager 3 times now, taking blood pressure medicine like candy, and a lot more.
But still losing sleep due to guilt that she doesn’t know it is going to happen. I’m supposed to start a new job tomorrow and am terrified at losing it due to this. Guess I’ll go to work and try to concentrate on what I’m doing till I get the call.
i feel for you as I am so tearful at this happening.
Lets try to give each other support in knowing this is the right thing to do.
God bless and keep you in his arms.
Tricia
There will be guilt but it won't be for placing her they. It will be for not doing this better . . . for not seeing this coming and preparing better . . . for not knowing what to do and how to do it.
Thank you and good luck.
My Mom’s Dr had been saying she needed to be in a NH for 18 months. But she refused to cooperate.
There were a series of events that led to her being admitted for rehab then she transitioned to a resident there.
The day I drove Mom from the hospital across the street to the NH I was in shock. The Dr, staff convinced Mom to go to rehab. It all happened so fast. I didn’t know what was happening until I got there to pick her up to take her home, I thought.
I thought the day we got her to agree to go to a NH I would be relieved and I was, mixed with shock and numbness.
I got Mom settled in. It was all a little uncomfortable. It was late afternoon. That evening when it was time for me to leave I had a little meltdown after I left Moms room. The administrator saw me leaving in tears. She pulled me into her office. We talked. We cried.
Honestly, leaving that night was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. But, it was best for everyone, especially my Mom.
Relief came a few days later when the staff became acquainted with Mom and found her shenanigans, attitude, spunk, amusing.
Mom was well taken care of and much safer than she was in her home.
I was able to have my Dad transferred to a skilled nursing home that accepted Medicaid pending.
It gave us time to apply for guardianship of person.
How did seven of us adult children feel about it?
Relief. Relief. Relief.
Finally someone observed what we had for years.
And after about 4 weeks of being sly and cunning, angry and delusional, Dad has adapted. He is not always happy, but he is no longer threatening, or super angry all the time.
He has gained 15 pounds since April. He is stable and seems healthier than he has for years.
All of us siblings are able to actually breathe deeply again.
You can't fix this. It sounds like they "know" what they want to know.