How did you approach the subject? What was their reaction?
Dad is having trouble pulling out of sleep in the morning. BP is high one day, low the next. Sometimes he has trouble catching his breath. Other times he is fine. Dad will be 99 in November, uses a Spyrt to stand, and is wheelchair bound.
The Doctor feels Hospice would be good to bring in. Since they can monitor dad and bring in oxygen or anything he may need. Plus he would not have to worry about having to go to the hospital.
About 6 months later, hospice was brought in and mom's dementia was too advanced for her to realize what was going on. So she had no objection, especially to the meds she was given that finally helped relieve her pain and anxiety, thank God.
When the subject was broached with my father back in 2015, he reacted in a resigned manner because he had a terminal brain tumor. He wound up passing 19 days after hospice came on board.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation
She agreed with me not waking dad as it could startle him.
Like the other day he was trying to wake and felt like he was dying and could not get his breath and could not wake. Yet he was breathing fine.
Then today, he was trying to get up, took my hand (remembers grabbing my hand) then sat on the edge of the bed fast asleep. I had a wedge and pillows supporting him until he pulled himself awake. I place a hospital table in front of him, incase he slumped forward. BP was high, then 3 mins later normal.
Yesterday BP was 90/54.
Dads reaction was it didn’t take me long to wake up. I said dad you sat on the side the bed for an hour asleep. Plus you were semi asleep as I helped you to a sitting position.
in the end I told him it was his choice but remember how nice everyone was when mom had a nurse coming in and how I could call her with questions.
What I did not say but was thinking lol. If like mom and the bather comes in at 7:00am I can sleep in or relax with breakfast. Moms girl was great, she said just unlock the door, I will come in wash your mom, dress her and get her in her chair and then I will text you. It was so nice.
If you think he'd be upset about bringing up hospice, let him know that he's not required to die within a specific time frame. I have a relative who was on hospice for a year, then "graduated" off it, much to his dismay. He liked the personal treatment, not having to go to doctors' appointments, and especially not worrying about who would stay with his wife, who has Alzheimer's.
The great thing about hospice is that suddenly you've returned to the days when folks got a house call from the doctor. THEY come to you, and it's wonderful. Granted, you see the doctor about once when you first sign up, but honestly, nurses are better than doctors anyway in my opinion, and they come every few days to check in on you.
As for me, I felt an immense load off my shoulders once we had hospice on board. With my dad, he was at home, I was staying with him and my mom caring for both, and I suddenly had a support system backing me up, too. When it came time to put my mom on hospice care, she had no idea (dementia), but I had decided that we weren't going back to the hospital any longer. She'd had some bad experiences with delirium when she was taken out of her familiar surroundings at her memory care, and I just decided we were done. I was so glad I made that decision, because she continued to receive the great care she always had at her MC, but she also had an extra layer of care with the hospice nurse. That woman became a good friend during my mom's time on hospice, and I don't know if I could have made it through a second time without her support.
The fact that hospice provides weekly or biweekly nurse assessments, helps pay for items needed at home, arranges to have equipment and medications and supplies delivered to the home help relieve a good portion of caregiver burden. They can also give you guidance about what to expect, although every dying process is a little different. They can help patient and family have a chance to ask questions, talk about what is on their mind, etc.
Focus of care is on comfort, not on knowing his exact platelet count or level of hydration. At 99, his body has already slowed down a lot....ease of body, mind, and spirit are key.
You can talk to the hospice in advance, and get some information.
Also, you can interview more than one hospice company. Some are businesses, some are part of a health system such as Kaiser or Sutter, and some are non profits. Be wary of anyone who wants to sign him up right away by faxing papers for you to sign....a rushed 'sale' is always a bad idea. You can change hospices if the first one doesn't work out.
Good luck to you and your dad.
The real difference with Hospice is comfort-only, rather than curative treatment. Is Dad getting curative treatment at the moment? If he isn’t, then the only change is likely to be the home care. If he is getting curative treatment, would he notice and query a change in medication to comfort-only? Sometimes least said, soonest mended.
My dad understands everything, still writes checks, does his taxes, uses the computer daily, even logs onto Netflix.
The problem is two out of the last three days he had trouble pulling himself out of sleep in the morning and BP is inconsistent from day to day.
Hospice was able to provide equipment, support mentally, emotionally and the education that I needed in order to safely care for him at home. One of the absolute best decisions I made!
With Hospice coming into the home you get support and supplies and equipment that you need. And you get at least 2 professionals that come 2 to 3 times a week that will keep an eye on things and may notice potential problems that you may over look.
If LO is in a facility Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care or Skilled Nursing having Hospice come in is just more eyes on your LO to make sure things are OK. (Facility CNA's will not duplicate the work that the Hospice CNA's do but since the Hospice CNA is seeing your LO and showering your LO and not 10, 12 or more other residents I think the attention is more)
Not having to transport to the hospital is a biggie.
If treatment options are limited why put someone through the discomfort of being taken to the hospital to wait around for 3, 4 or many more hours just to be sent home. That stresses everyone for no reason.
(Hospice will/can order a transport to the hospital under certain conditions but it has to be approved. And generally not for the condition that is life limiting)
Suggestion...
Call Hospice. Get dad evaluated. Have Hospice come in and begin care. If you, your dad or other family members are not happy with the care discontinue Hospice. You have every right to change Care providers or even change Hospice companies if that is what you would like to do.