His current hearing aids stopped working so he stopped wearing them. His solution is to just not hear or have very loud conversations. He's anti social to begin with and this is making it worse. My husband refuses to have a conversation while yelling but misses conversing with him. How do I convince him to re-engage with life instead of keeping to himself?
"Somewhat anti-social" is OP's description. That is NOT the same as introvert. Even if he was introverted, it doesn't mean he wouldn't listen to others. Introverts would avoid crowds, etc, but can sit and take in information from others while they are talking together or with others. Quieter. More reserved. Inner thinking, but that doesn't imply shutting people out. Clearly he WAS conversing, at least with OP's husband.
PLUS, keeping someone more socially connected is better for the person. He doesn't have to be the life of the party and the center of attention all day every day, but hearing loss is considered one of the potential gateways to dementia.
I use hearing aids and I cannot imagine life without them. So I don't understand why anyone would not want to replace them. However, my inlaws both wore them. My MIL lost hers twice so my FIL replaced them with cheaper ones that he got online. He did not tell anyone he did this and we wondered why her hearing aids did not seem to work well. But I also think that she was no longer really able to process what we were saying to her; not because she could not hear but because her brain was broken due to advancing dementia. That might be part of it for your father. If he was a veteran, the VA provides very high quality hearing aids for free for veterans for those who qualify for a duty related loss. Their hearing aid clinics are well run and they provide batteries for life too. My FIL supposedly had a hearing loss related to airplane engines from WWII but I think they interpret that very loosely. So if he is a veteran, a free hearing aid might be possible and "free" might be something that appeals to him.
He received very expensive hearing aids from England to replace his old ones and still refused to wear them.
That annoyed R very much but what he did was he stopped speaking up. Everyone did apparently so R's dad had no choice but to put them in .
I remember the constant yelling so R's dad could join in and it just about drove me and them insane so I don't blame them .
R's dad seems pretty cool with them now and is pretty talkative . He had mentioned how having to wear something to hear made him feel depressed and old so that's something to think about .
If your dad is anti-social, maybe he likes not hearing and is enjoying the quiet. Sometimes people just want to be left mostly alone . You might not understand that but it's true . I'm pretty reserved myself and I can go days without a conversation , quite happily .
Maybe , if the hearing aids have volume controls , you can write a note saying : " Dad , when you feel like talking just give a signal and turn your aids up." That way he can be " alone" or engage when he wants to .
He could have a red cloth (or something noticeable) that he can put out when the hearing aid is turned up to show he wants to talk and he can put it away when he doesn't want to .
He might be old but he still has his preferences I imagine.
It was once a battle for me to get my family to understand that I love them but I also need alone time with my thoughts to recharge , maybe he is the same .
Hopefully this helps and best of luck to you .
The audiologist was extremely kind and non-judgmental. Left the option to get aids totally up to DH. I just sat there, not weighing in b/c he already knew how fiercely I wanted him to get HA's---for the last 20 years (he's only 68).
He opted in for the MOST expensive ones with bluetooth capability and he is pretty good about wearing them. Still has to focus on people's faces, and that is simply due to so many years of just missing everything that was being said.
I did NOT raise my voice and I told the kids not to either. He simply missed out on a LOT of life---now he does better.
Now he's WFM and not putting them in and so when he has video conferencing, he is actually yelling at the monitors---it'd be funny, except it's not.
My neighbor went to Costco and got the mid range aids. He's perfectly happy with them, and they cost 1/4th of what we paid.
BUT--my neighbor was bothered by his hearing loss and didn't blame everybody else for not talking louder. A BIG PART of being comfortable with HA's is you have to WANT to be able to hear.
DH has had some extremely embarrassing moments where he caught the wrong end of the stick, as it were, and missed what the conversation was about and jumped in, not knowing he kind of looked a fool.
Luckily for us, my hearing is perfect, so important things (like a cop coming lights and sirens behind you on the freeway) are HEARD and addressed.
If he opts for hearing aids, strongly rec Costco. New ones have rechargable batteries...makes it less hassle. Best prices...
What I suggest is take Dad back to his audiologist. His aides may not be broke, just need adjusting. He may have built up wax in his ears. He may have lost more of his hearing and needs the Digital adjusted. See, when they are fitted, turning them up and down is limited to how you hear at that time. If there is loss of hearing, it may just be a matter of adjusting for the loss. Also, wax does get in the tubing and needs to be removed. Molds harden and shrink so the need for new molds. If he does not go regularly for cleanings, this could be the problem. If taken care of, aides will last a while. My husband still has his Analog.
Going to the audiologist would be the best start. He could get a test. He could have his ears checked for wax build up. He could have his current hearing aids checked (they may just need cleaning and/or adjustment for additional hearing loss.)
I haven't been in the audiologist office with mom, but I would think they would have a way to allow someone to "try it" before you buy it. I recall mom having the option to return them within a given period if she didn't like the new pair.
it is great to hear the birds and crickets. It’s not so great when TV adds come on, painfully loud , or when there is a lot of background noise, like in a restaurant or in the car. (Wind & Road noise. )
like your dad, I’m an introvert and I find a lot of what people say is either useless or very hard to understand even when I hear them correctly. Sometimes I hear the syllables correctly, but just can’t make sense of the words or sentences. sometimes Understanding “small talk” just isn’t worth the trouble.
the experts say that my ability to process sounds may have atrophied because I put off getting hearing aids too long.
but also I find getting the aids serviced periodically is helpful. The tubes get plugged or cracked and they don’t work as well.
my dad got free hearing aids thru the VA, based on his demolitions work in WWII.