I am the youngest daughter with (now) two siblings. I moved in with my mom and dad and helped my mom care for my dad for 13 months until his passing without help from a sibling. We asked for help and never got it. After my dad's passing, I got my own place but continued to help my mom while others did not. I ended up with Mom moving closer to me so I could be more instrumental in seeing to her needs. Mom is now 91 and showing signs of mental decline. She was attacked in her home a little less than two months ago and suffered a traumatic brain injury and lost the use of her left arm. This, coupled with the onset of diagnosed dementia, made it necessary for me to move in and care for her. I have Durable Power of Attorney. Mom's mental state has extreme fluctuations and I suffer the brunt of it. She has angry outbursts, she is paranoid, she accuses me of taking her things only to find them later, she attempted to get physical with me, and she has even suggested I might be the one who attacked her. Stage left...enters my brother. Growing up with him as an older brother was not pleasant. He was involved in drugs, he threatened to kill us, he stole from my parents and was physically abusive to me. He ended up spending a year in the penitentiary. After my dad's passing, my brother tried to take over my mom's assets twice. He has done nothing for her in the years I've been here (now 7 years). He rarely called. On his last visit to her house more than a year ago, he stole family heirlooms. As soon as my mom was hospitalized and he found out I was my mom's POA, he called my oldest sister and tried to get her to agree that I shouldn't be the one. She didn't. Now he is calling Mom and she him and they are having secretive conversations. I saw a drastic turn in her mindset towards me. He is trying to get her to make some changes regarding her assets. I am certain he is doing everything he can to undermine me. Mom has become suspicious of me insinuating I attacked her, I want to get rid of her, just all sorts of crazy things. What steps do I need to take to handle my brother, protect myself from wrongful accusations, and help my mom live a more peaceful and relaxed life free of fear?
Call APS if you suspect brother of abuse; you may need to use your POA to forbid his visits eventually, and may need stay-away or restraining order against him.
If you are up to all of this it is time to see an elder law attorney.
If you are NOT (and I certainly would not be) it may be time to tell the state they need to act for your mother as her guardian, place and protect her. APS can help you get that started, in most cases.