my story is enough to make a movie so i will try to make it brief. i am 47 years old and i live in my parents' house. me and my 85 yr old father were taking care of my mother until she passed in 2023. my brother and his family live next door they were setting up and dividing my mother's meds and giving them to my father. a few months before my mother passed i found out that they were not sending over the seroquel (anti-psychotic) and they had tricked my father into thinking that would "help" her pass away from natural causes and end her suffering and be out of his hair. it was a cruel joke because every time my mother went crazy my father would say "i'm gonna kill myself, this is doing me in" so they wanted to watch my mother drive my father crazy. they were also not sending over her extended release parkinsons meds. they were sending over the regular release despite the fact i told them several times her meds were wearing off. they have no empathy, they live next door and would only come over to see my dying mother once a year on xmas. a bunch of arguing happened when i found all this out and i am not on speaking terms with them.
my mother passed away last year, now i am very worried that they are taking advantage of my father. my father keeps giving them money for various reasons that i believe they are lying about. they have his truck, they keep telling him it needs expensive repairs and make him pay for it. they had my father pay for an operation for their dog. i saw the dog and i dont think he had an operation, they make him pay for all this stuff for their kids but its all lies. they are ripping him off, my father is very grumpy and he just gets mad at me when i try to tell him or talk to him about it. they have POA. i am very worried if my father's mental health declines they are gonna steal from him
Do know, that you yourself will be questioned about the situation described in your first paragraph. You will be questioned as to how you so well knew and understood how the medications were be manipulated, and what proof you have/had of this. You may also be asked why you did not report this at the time.
This is a POA situation, so as a concerned family member you can also see an attorney and ask that the records of the POA be examined to make certain there is no elder abuse. But again, as the mother and father apparently trusted this son to be POA, you will be asked what proof you have of wrongdoing, because this would be a court action in which the judge would be asking the POA to appear and answer to accusations.
This could end up as a costly action, but one hour of time with an attorney would at least answer some questions you may have, and supply some options.
I wish you good luck. You're right; a bit like a good movie script. I hope you will update us.
I had to do this with my mom as my brother was bleeding her dry.
As far as not knowing what APS or the police could do, you've put together this whole accusation for some purpose, and if you don't report these allegations to the proper authorities, it's all for nothing. If you want help in this matter, report it. Then the authorities have the burden of deciding if something can be done.
You also tell us that you have no proof.
There is then the fact that your parents made brother the POA.
I would say that you should let this go. Doing things like harassing the family with the coffee mug is going to get you in trouble, and "doesn't look good".
I am afraid not everything can be fixed. Let it go and move on with your own life.
that is all over, my mother passed away and i am moving on with my life. i just got a new job and everything. i just wanted to tell the back story. my problem is they keep ripping my father off with lies about car repairs, dog operations, and stuff for their kids. the POA thing worries me because they are obviously not honest people therefore i am worried they are gonna steal from him.
Of course, I understand your frustration. I cared for my mother with Parkinson’s disease. Meds are crucial in controlling the symptoms.
I am sorry that you have those memories and that you are concerned about your dad’s well being.
Not sure what to say except to keep an eye on everything and report something that is wrong immediately to APS.
Best of luck to you.