My husband and I have been pretty much forced to take in mother in law. She is 83 years old. Her daughter decided to sell mothers home, and claimed her house being rehabed. Since we were renting a larger property from her, we were forced to take her in. There are 2 other daughters that refuse to have anything to do with mother. Since taking her in, I have noticed some really disturbing behaviors. First, she is digustingly dirty. Since moving in and clogging our toilet, she now poops, and pees in diaper and sits in it all day. We tell her to change, and she says they hold a lot, and does not need to. She never showers or washes hands after changing crappy diapers. I won't let her touch any of our dishes, food. From my understanding of her from her children, she has always been filthy. She is very attention seeking, lies about everything, gives me dirty looks all day. She wants people to do everything for her. I refuse to do this, because she is lucid and mobile. She eats only sugar all day. Starts with cookies, ice cream, pastries, ect. My husband and I eat very well. I cook healthy meals, protien, veggies, but says she can't chew it. Did I mention, she is a diabetic!!!. When she does shower, her towels have fecal matter on them, and hangs them over shower. This infuriates me, and I talked to her about it, and told her, after showering, there should not be on a towel. She throws wrappers on my front long, and leaves garbage on my counters, after speaking to her about it. She also repeats how good looking her son, my husband is, and stares at him, not in a good way. This is all very disturbing to me, but was told this has been going on since their childhood. We are currently looking for a new home, but it is not happening as quick as I would like. Help!
I would agree with Alva that a family meeting needs to take place IMMEDIATELY (!) to analyze what funds are available from each family member to find a placement for her, in a facility, not in your home. An uncooperative person will contribute not only to an unsafe and unhealthy environment, but also to marital and family friction.
Start gathering data and researching local facilities, and as soon as you have the meeting Alva suggested, each member should be involved in addressing the issues, locating, interviewing and visiting potential facilities to get this resolved ASAP.
Your MIL suffers from mental illness and the rest of the family wisely keeps their distance.