She constantly talks about herself and I feel unloved. Intellectually I know i shouldn't take her behavior personally. She's in her own world and wrapped up in her severe pain. I get so angry inside because her caregivers gush all over her. I feel unimportant around here and she treats them differently than me.
(signed) Nurse Ratched
Doesn't it help to have other caregivers pitch in? It helps me detach from her. Its sad she doesn't trust you. Just remember its never about you and she's incapable of changing. I'm trying to let it in one ear and out the other when she issues one complaint after another...i have to walk on eggshells because when I remind her that she complains, she shames me. I guess you can't win with a narcissist!
To hear your mother say that...wow, how hurtful for you. Was your mom ever diagnosed with mental illness? Mine was never diagnosed with NPD but my therapist of 10 years recognized it and it helped me so much to feel validated. Growing up i was always the Identified patient" meaning the crazy one...my dad was never around..just my self absorbed mother.
Do what you can to continue detaching and remember that you matter and have value regardless of what she thinks or says to you.
I hope that helps in some way.
It isn't easy to care for someone else, but try not to take them to heart. I remember when my son was younger, maybe 10 or 12, we would drive up to Gramma's house and we would go bowling. She began to introduce me as her Step Daughter. Seriously? I was in my 40s, and she married my Dad when I was 3 years old. Now all of a sudden Im not your real daughter? Wow, that hurt, but that was the beginning of her mental decline. Looking back now I recognize the signs. I hope this helps someone.
Finding a good counselor to help you cope with this difficult issue would also be a good idea.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Carol