I have so many questions and concerns about dong things legally and right by my parents. I moved them into an assisted living home that they chose back in September. They do not remember that they chose their new location and the apartment they are in however and feel that my brother and I kidnapped them and took them out of their home.
Both of my parents have been diagnosed with dementia. Sometimes they both seem very normal and other times they are way off. My mom has a lung disease and now weighs less that 90 pounds. She has also begun to appear mentally ill at times. My dad has prostate cancer that has begun to spread into his bones.
Still, they want to go home and threaten me often that they are going to call a lawyer and that I have no right to keep them there. They wont allow my brother or I to sell their motor home that hasn't been driven for about 16 years or their car that they can no longer driver. They also continue to tell us that they can afford to die in their own home with a care giver. However, we tried this and my mom would be mean to the care givers and make people leave. So we wont go back down that road.
Luckily, they created a will with a layer 6 years ago. I am noted as their POA if they can n longer take care of each other. Yet things are not quite right on the will. Medical insurance said my documents are not correct and our accountant also thought I might need something else to legally be helping as I am.
This is not uncommon.
They are diagnosed.
I am glad you are seeing an attorney because if someone is telling you that your documents for POA are "wanting", then they need review. You may need now to get a conservatorship and you SURELY need to know how, when you sell, to get the funds listed in your parents name and keep meticulous accounting records; this is a legal requirement if you want to avoid legal charges of elder abuse. It is important that anything sold be sold for fair market value.
Your POA allows you to seek expert advice and that's what you need in order to do all of this right.
A good POA needs to be done with an attorney, not with sheets of paper spit out by a computer. Banks won't accept such notary-signed documents, and sometimes it is too late to get them changed later due to the parents having progressed into incompetency due to dementia.
No place will release them without your notification.
I agree with others below on how to get a good attorney for your area and wish you the very best.
I have to say that your parents keep threatening you but obviously haven't acted, so executive functions are not there. If they were, they would have already made arrangements and gone home.
I would encourage you to tell the attorney that they chose this place and willingly moved. Just because they can not remember doesn't change the facts and truth of that.
I am so sorry for your situation, it is common when dementia is involved.
It does hurt to hear them say how much they want to die in their own home at this point.
I will look into www.nelf.org and search CELA
Thank you.