I'm an only adult child. At first, I had POA; but my aunt(s) who have always resented my mother loving me so much; overrode my POA by making my aunt POA. They cut me off from her bank accounts, falsely accused me of using it all (mother and I helped one another) -- and in the meantime, convinced my mother that previous robbery of her money by OTHER POA's (not me) were all me.
My mother, beginning dementia, and already 83-years-old gets confused and making bad decisions. So, these relatives, while throwing me under the bus to other relatives (threatening me with elder abuse--when I had nothing to do with abuse of her money; again, we helped one another voluntarily), went behind my back and cut me off from all her financials. Which is wrong, as it is just Mom and me.
I want to take care of her. They did this after I had a caregiver set up and a new place, in her own rental. The relatives were upset that I was actually doing the right thing. Thus, they took over and moved my mother in with another aunt, because she "needed the money" for caregiving.
Today, my aunt told someone many lies about me, and asked my roommate to throw me out to the streets -- and force me to work at McDonald's, while she and my other aunt control all my mother's money.
Besides poisoning my mother's mind against her own and only child; I need to get guardianship of all my mother's affairs; so that my last years with her are not damaged by such hateful relatives. Relatives who'd like to see me on the streets and taking all my mother's money for their rent!
Do I need a lawyer in New York (where I live, and will move my mother here as soon as I can). Or do I contact a lawyer in Florida (where she resides at this time)?
If you have modest means and your mother does as well, then you need to weigh your wishes against the potential costs of the legal action needed to achieve your goal of careing for your mother.
I am an only child and it is a tough position to have because there is no one to help you, especially in a dysfunctional family. Good luck.
How did your aunts "over ride" your POA? They would have had to get your mother's permission----they can't "over ride" the POA on their own.
I would think that you would need 2 physicians to certify that your mother was not capable of making decisions on her own at the time the POA was changed due to dementia. Good luck with that if your mother's doctors are in Florida & you live in New York. Your mother would have had to write your name on the doctors' documents to release medical information to you. If your name is not on those papers, you will not get any information due to HIPAA regulations.
I am not sure how you wanted to "take care of her", but allegedly wanted to move her into her own rental with a caregiver. Of course her money would be used for a caregiver and her rent if she did not live with you. And, you taking her money for your expenses while she is not living with you and you not taking care of her is questionable. Perhaps your aunts think that you are taking your mother's money for your own expenses, which is what it sounds like & without your mother's consent, is not legal. "Forcing you" to work at McDonalds leads me to believe that you do not have another job or means of income other than your mother's money. Is there a written agreement that your mother would support you? It seems to me that your interest lies with your mother's bank accounts and not with taking care of your mother yourself. She lives in Florida; you live in New York. If she was not living with you, how did you "help each other"? Clearly, you were not caring for her when you live 1,500 miles away. If you want control of her money & bank accounts, get your own place, move her up with you & take care of her 24/7. That way, there would be no question about you "helping her" in exchange for her money.
Last time I could not oversee her financials -- Her previous POA stole over $8,000 from her! When I was overseeing them, no one stole a cent. Anything I got personally was with her permission.
My aunt had the bank card--Mom is legally blind--and I had one if needed. It was a working situation. There was no reason, whatsoever, to cut me off from access or to see what goes on, in the account. My mother made me POA and then my aunt, jealous of it, convinced my mother to override and make her POA.
So, it is not about me not wanting not willing to care for her. I had a place set up in NY for both of us, Mom said she did not want to leave Florida. And I do not want to give up my job(s) here where casting directors know me.