My therapist is an expert in dementia. Based on what I told him, he is certain my wife is in the beginning stages of it, if not further along. He advised me to take to the doctors. I am a police officer and have placed many dangerous people in my car. I have no idea how I would get her in the car to go to the doctors. She refuses to see the doctor, take her pills, or bathe. I am in desperate need of assistance. I am not mentally equipped to take care of her.
(386) 672-4146. They will send help to you.
The issue is that if she is not obviously in decline at the doctor, he may miss it. It's amazing how on some days they seem to be doing so well. If you didn't know how they really are they could fool someone. So, it's important that you be able to tell the doctor what's really happening. Make a list so you'll have it handy.
I did that with my cousin. I explained to her that we had to see the doctor about her monthly check, just to get the medical clearance. It made sense to her and she had no problem going.
I explained o the office manager before the appointment why we where there. It was for her regular medications, but also to get the doctor to complete a form that she needed to get into assisted living to help her with her meds, since she could not remember to take them or care for herself.
Would she go for an insurance form, free consult offered to seniors, etc.
The doctor will examine and then just chat about what's going on with her. Then the doctor may ask certain questions, such as the date, time, location, who's president, where did she attend college or high school, describe medical history. etc. These seem easy, but my cousin could only answer one, so completing the form was easy for her doctor.
Maybe in some cases an intervention as nhmom36 describes would work. I doubt very much that would have helped with my mother. Her main coping mechanism has always been denial. To this day she doesn't "know" that she has dementia, even though she is in a nursing home for it.
Getting help from the Office of the Aging as Pam suggests in another good approach.
When you hit on something that works, please share. We learn from each other.
The lack of bathing can be a sign of depression as well as dementia. Do you live in a senior community that might have a social worker who could come to the house to evaluate her? If not, then maybe her doctor could order an in-home evaluation. I'm sure there are other's on this board that will have other suggestions. Please keep up posted on your progress and hers! Welcome!