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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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This is a common problem! Others have more experience dealing with full dementia patients, but essentially, realize that if you get her to take a shower once a week, you’re doing exceptionally well. The rest of the days (or every other), keep her fresh with a warm wet washcloth.
Can she keep a diary or write on a calendar? Maybe have her record when she takes a shower so she can see it herself. I’m not sure if this would work in practice, but it’s worth a shot.
Another idea: Change the sheets and have her shower the same day, explaining that she has to be clean to get into bed fresh sheets.
If she’s avoiding showering because she doesn’t like getting cold or undressed, address these. Warm up the room. Have her start fully dressed with washing the feet and then convince her to shed more cloths and do what you can.
If it gets bad, just do so called”bed baths.” Fill two buckets with warm water. Get a washcloth for each. One will be for soaping up and the other for rinsing. Then start with one body section at a time, as tolerated. Sometimes I do half of the job one day and finish the rest the next day. If she is itchy and in need of a shower, getting rubbed with washcloths and massaged with lotion feels good. Call it a spa day!
You can go to the Alzheimer's Association's Website - www.alz.org. Once there "click" on the "Help and Support" tab, then click on "Caregiving," then "Daily Care" and then under "Activities" is a "Bathing" tab. They have a lot of tips/information that may help you!
P.S. My mom has hospice in the memory care unit we moved her to in May and even they can't get her in the shower/bath. They brought a shower chair for her but, they haven't been able to use it. They are giving her bed baths twice a week like "JuliaRose" and "InHomeCaregiver" mentioned.
Some dementia patients have a fear of showers (if the water goes down the drain, will I too?). Some say the water hurts their skin, and that may be a valid sensation for them, how do we know? Some have just forgotten how to shower. I think that is the case with one of my current ladies. She doesn't know what to do with a washcloth when it's handed to her. So...
I distract her with a story and do the bed bath similar to what JuliaRose described above.
I was once told by an experienced nurse, if you hand a person a washcloth & they can't wash their face independanly they probably can't do the groin either & may no longer fully understand the shower/washing process. Will get distressed as suddenly WET!! And COLD!!
So wet, soap, rinse nice & quick then the towel to get warm & dry quickly.
At 96 showering is probably very difficult and takes a lot of energy. She is probably a fall risk and it may not be safe. She will need help. You can ask her if she needs your help. Tell her you would love to assist her. Do not expect her to shower very often. My 85 year old dad only showers once a week, with my help. We have installed bars and a seat in our walk-in shower. I stand by to help. We bought him adult premoistened wash clothes for daily use. Most days he washes up. I encourage deodorant and have him use a nice cologne. Falling in the shower at 96 would be fatal. Choose your battles with the elderly. Showering once a week or every 10 days, with sponge bathes in between will be best. Again, she needs help.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Can she keep a diary or write on a calendar? Maybe have her record when she takes a shower so she can see it herself. I’m not sure if this would work in practice, but it’s worth a shot.
Another idea: Change the sheets and have her shower the same day, explaining that she has to be clean to get into bed fresh sheets.
If she’s avoiding showering because she doesn’t like getting cold or undressed, address these. Warm up the room. Have her start fully dressed with washing the feet and then convince her to shed more cloths and do what you can.
If it gets bad, just do so called”bed baths.” Fill two buckets with warm water. Get a washcloth for each. One will be for soaping up and the other for rinsing. Then start with one body section at a time, as tolerated. Sometimes I do half of the job one day and finish the rest the next day. If she is itchy and in need of a shower, getting rubbed with washcloths and massaged with lotion feels good. Call it a spa day!
You can go to the Alzheimer's Association's Website - www.alz.org. Once there "click" on the "Help and Support" tab, then click on "Caregiving," then "Daily Care" and then under "Activities" is a "Bathing" tab. They have a lot of tips/information that may help you!
I distract her with a story and do the bed bath similar to what JuliaRose described above.
get the essentials clean... and spa day for the rest...
head and shoulders... seem to be the one caretaker likes the most for my LO.
No rinse bath and or shampoo.... Baby wipes work for in between times. or most of the time.
calmospetin.. for the underparts I suppose...
clean fun scents..make it quick short and fun. wash cloths, wipes,
get in and get out as fast as you can. get it done right.
good luck ... some people do not like their feet touched.
So wet, soap, rinse nice & quick then the towel to get warm & dry quickly.
A warmed towel or shirt is even better 😁
We bought him adult premoistened wash clothes for daily use. Most days he washes up. I encourage deodorant and have him use a nice cologne.
Falling in the shower at 96 would be fatal. Choose your battles with the elderly. Showering once a week or every 10 days, with sponge bathes in between will be best. Again, she needs help.