My father was recently discharged from rehab following a fall that caused a brain bleed and contusion to his head. The rehab did not even have the decency to tell me that my father has now become incontinent and I have a spinal injury from two surgeries and cannot bathe, dress him or anything that requires physical help. I was quite clear about this to the rehab but they didn’t care what I have to say they sent him home anyway. My father has dementia early onset but since the fall he can’t remember anything I tell him not to do and is actually doing everything I tell him not to. Can anyone recommend help for our situation? Unfortunately money is extremely tight so it would have to be something granted for free. Thank you in advance
With the diagnosis of dementia he is going to require more and more help. You need to think long term on this.
Contact your local Senior Center find out if they have a Social Worker that might have suggestions for you
Contact your local Agency on Aging and see what is offered and what services he may qualify for.
Depending on your situation application for Medicaid might be in order.
And IF something like this happens again, or if he is hospitalized for ANY reason you need to talk to the Social Worker right away and discuss the fact that you can not safely care for him in your home. So when it comes to discharging him you can not care for him. And do not back down, or cave under pressure from them.
You could also talk to his doctor about ordering a Sit-To-Stand that will help you safely transfer him from bed to chair or toilet. It will also allow you to change him, dress his lower body safely and if needed be able to move him from room to room easily. All without injuring yourself. If you need to reinforce the need have your doctor write a note to his doctor proving that you can not lift him or do any care that may injure your back.
Sadly, sometimes it is not always possible for people to fully or even partly understand their situation or needs.
Your Dad has many factors currently effecting his reasoning, including brain changes that dementia brings plus brain injury due to the recent bleed. If he can't, then he can't.
If so, it may be beneficial to move the focus away from trying to make him understand to reassuring him instead.
Work with his medical team for an assessment. If his needs are too high for his home, then start a new path - towards arranging the care he needs, as Barb has suggested. (I hope you had POA in place already?)
I don't mean to cause upset with plain speak, but my Mother cannot fully comprehend her care needs & it's hard watching Dad explain over & over. Naming the stroke what it is - a brain injury - has somewhat helped him to understand why she just can't understand.
If you are, call the local Area Agency on Aging and ask for a "needs assessment".
Call dad's doctor and ask for her/him to order home care (a bath aide and Physical Therapy).
When (not if) dad falls again, start working with the discharge planners from day 1 to get dad into a rehab facility that will accept dad as a ltc patient at the end of rehab and that accepts Medicaid.