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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I had to take over my very independent dad's bills in the last months of his life. I did the bulk of it without his knowledge, as I was on his accounts and his POA, I went to the bank and changed everything to online banking, and paperless billing for his bills. Then I talked to him about the fact that it had gotten overwhelming for him and it was time that I helped. What sold him on it was that I made a notebook, a 3 ring binder with a page for each month, with each bill listed, the due date, the date and amount paid, and how I had paid them. He could quickly look and see what was and wasn’t paid, what had come in and what we were still waiting on. He loved looking at it, seeing that it was all okay and being handled. I printed receipts for things important to him like his charitable contributions and included them in the binder. When he looked at it he felt included and calmed
What have you tried? Advise her to put her regular bills on auto pay. If you haven’t done so, do it together. How old is mom? What makes you think she needs your help at this point? Has she had problems already? Need a bit more info in order to give you better answers.
Not enough information to provide a good solid answer. Assumption is your mother is having cognitive issues, heading down the dementia path.
What our situation was:
Mom was starting down the dementia path. At least once, she stated it was all too much, but when I offered to take over, she declined. Not too long after, I was helping her with reconciling (she waited THREE years! when I got it down to a few dollars, that was it - adjust and move on!) We already had POAs set up and she had added us to her acct years B4 that. Noting the errors being made, I just stepped in. There was no happy middle.
What I did:
**I temp forwarded her mail 1+ month to redirect billing to my PO box. (this method DID miss the yearly insurance bill! BEWARE non-monthly bills!) **Once I had billing info, I set up bill payer on her acct. **I did not use auto-pay. **I changed the CU acct mailing address to my PO Box. **I redirected SS to CU acct, closed the bank acct, transfer funds by ck to CU. **I also had to have bro take her out and SWEEP the place for all paperwork - she was digging out old crap and driving me NUTS! W2 says Death Benefits, as it was my dad's pension - she says someone died and left her money! OI!!! **I also signed up as rep payee for SS (the only legit way to handle their SS)
If you have POA and can take over everything without discussing it, do it. If she's like my mother was, she might balk and/or complain, but once all the papers were gone and the checks/bills were in my hands, not a peep out of her!
Sometimes there is no way to "help". It works for some (see the other comments), but in other cases, like my mother, this would not have worked. I took over doing her taxes after dad passed. After the first year, I had her adjust the withholding to avoid penalty again and was waiting for the tax documents so I could get it done and confirm I adjusted correctly. I kept asking (this was before forwarding the mail, but even still, those documents won't forward!) and despite this, a few weeks before the tax deadline she says "Well, no one was doing it so I took it to [the blockheads] and I'm getting $5k back!" I knew right away they'd made a huge mess of it! I checked it all and then made THEM fix it!
But, my point is I was trying to "work with her" to get this done and she forgot, even though I asked every few days!!! If your mom is like mine, this will be an activity fraught with frustration, anger, denial, whatever. If she has dementia and you have POAs, do what I did. It's great when we can "help" and bond over some tasks, keeping them active, but this one will likely not be a cake walk!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Advise her to put her regular bills on auto pay. If you haven’t done so, do it together.
How old is mom? What makes you think she needs your help at this point? Has she had problems already?
Need a bit more info in order to give you better answers.
What our situation was:
Mom was starting down the dementia path.
At least once, she stated it was all too much, but when I offered to take over, she declined.
Not too long after, I was helping her with reconciling (she waited THREE years! when I got it down to a few dollars, that was it - adjust and move on!)
We already had POAs set up and she had added us to her acct years B4 that.
Noting the errors being made, I just stepped in. There was no happy middle.
What I did:
**I temp forwarded her mail 1+ month to redirect billing to my PO box.
(this method DID miss the yearly insurance bill! BEWARE non-monthly bills!)
**Once I had billing info, I set up bill payer on her acct.
**I did not use auto-pay.
**I changed the CU acct mailing address to my PO Box.
**I redirected SS to CU acct, closed the bank acct, transfer funds by ck to CU.
**I also had to have bro take her out and SWEEP the place for all paperwork - she was digging out old crap and driving me NUTS! W2 says Death Benefits, as it was my dad's pension - she says someone died and left her money! OI!!!
**I also signed up as rep payee for SS (the only legit way to handle their SS)
If you have POA and can take over everything without discussing it, do it. If she's like my mother was, she might balk and/or complain, but once all the papers were gone and the checks/bills were in my hands, not a peep out of her!
Sometimes there is no way to "help". It works for some (see the other comments), but in other cases, like my mother, this would not have worked. I took over doing her taxes after dad passed. After the first year, I had her adjust the withholding to avoid penalty again and was waiting for the tax documents so I could get it done and confirm I adjusted correctly. I kept asking (this was before forwarding the mail, but even still, those documents won't forward!) and despite this, a few weeks before the tax deadline she says "Well, no one was doing it so I took it to [the blockheads] and I'm getting $5k back!" I knew right away they'd made a huge mess of it! I checked it all and then made THEM fix it!
But, my point is I was trying to "work with her" to get this done and she forgot, even though I asked every few days!!! If your mom is like mine, this will be an activity fraught with frustration, anger, denial, whatever. If she has dementia and you have POAs, do what I did. It's great when we can "help" and bond over some tasks, keeping them active, but this one will likely not be a cake walk!