As an only child caring for my father I find that those around me, family, neighbors, friends are often not very understanding or patient of me. My days are very busy as I work, take care of the house and acre+ of property, and my father's COPD has worsened over the past 6 months. He has recently been diagnosed with a swallowing problem that requires his drinks be thickened and a special soft diet which is takes more time as I need to cook more.
How do others get those around you to be more understanding and patient? I feel like people don't realize or expect that I do get tired and sometimes get cranky because I am tired. Neighbors are not always understanding if I don't get to week whacking around the fence or clearing snow from the sidewalks as quickly as they'd like. Sometimes things need to be let go a little longer when you're caring for a sick person - their needs take priority.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Looking back now, when my friends were doing this, I really had no concept of how much time and energy caregiving demands. It really is one of those things that you have to experience to get the whole picture.
This does not, however, give anyone the right to judge or be impatient with you. But you do have to communicate with everyone. (ie: I am sorry if I was short with you, but the care of my father is stretching me thin right now.) You may get more empathy and perhaps even help if they know what is going on in your life.
Also, do a self-assessment to see if you have been delegating whenever you can. When I first started doing this, I thought I needed to do everything. That is a sure way to early burnout.
If family is not stepping up, are you able to hire in-home help once and awhile? You really do need to step away from things...even if it is to go window shopping or see a film. Can you hire someone to clear the snow or do yard work? We had a young man in our neighborhood who took great care of our yard and would sit our pets when we were away.
take it easy....Lilli
Thanks again everyone!
A quote ... "If your not part of the sollution your part of the problem" don't waiste your good energy on problems (those who add problems) use your energy for solutions.
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