I have been taking care of a family friend for the past year. I recently moved to his property to assist him with everything because he had a stroke and lost most motor functions on the left side. I used to have my own business doing yards and stuff, but because he has needed most of my time, I have pretty much lost my business. When I ask him about paying me, he just acts like he can't hear me or just continues to stare at the TV. What can I do to get compensated for my time? I hate to say it, but my time is not free. I have to live and nothing in this world is free.
Honestly, you need to go back to a real, stable full-time job that pays into your SS and Medicare (and has benefits) so that you don't shaft yourself when it comes time for you to need ongoing help. I doubt he can pay you enough to make it worth the strain on your mind and body, anyway. If you're his only caregiver, 24/7 care is unsustainable on every level. And if you think his passive disrespect is bad now...just you wait until it ramps up (because it will).
This "friend" obviously is ignoring your request (and need!) to get paid so he's made it clear you're a convenience, not a friend from his point of view. Connect him (or report him) to social services for his county and then move out and move on. He can only take advantage of you if you allow it. So, don't.
Yes, turn off that TV and have a serious talk. Its not what he wants but what you are willing to give. Do not allow him to intimidate u.
In the meantime, you need to put all of your energy into a plan to organize care resources for this person. This means aids, cooking, cleaning resources. Call a senior center for ideas. If he has any living family, you need to start transitioning this back to them.
Since he had a stroke, he may literally not be able to process what you’re saying. Look up stroke resources online also.
He basically needs a case manager to put together a plan for him, you or someone else is that person. Hopefully someone else, you’ve done enough.
To me, it seems like he needs assisted living! Some states will accept Medicaid for assisted living, some will not. I think he might want to use all his money for AL and then when he’s impoverished, he can live into a skilled nursing facility under Medicaid.
It’s a complicated situation and I wish you well.
Nope. They need to put all of their energy into finding a job and a place to live. Hand it off to APS or a social worker but let them deal with the friend. Otherwise this will just keep going on and on with said friend.
I would not even try to make any kind of agreement with this person since he already ignores u. I would tell him as soon as u get ur ducks in a row, you will be leaving. That this type of "caring" u found u cannot do. You need to work because it looks like he is not going to pay you. Before you leave, call in Office of Aging or Adult Protection services. Be honest and tell them the man is a friend that u thought u could help but not where u lost business because of the care he needs. He needs more than you can give. Then u can leave knowing he is set up with an agency. Do it now, because the longer ur there, the longer it will be harder to get out of.
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