I'm a caregiver. The elder I care for has dementia and gets abusive at times. Their son knows that they get this way. His solution is to give them space. This sometimes doesn't work; the elder has threatened to slap me and bucked up to me several times before. One time they raised their walker to me. I really need this job, so I can get a vehicle. What am I to do?
if hired privately? You need to talk to you employer and make sure they have liability insurance to cover any injuries you may get.
The family should be taking this seriously and talking to her doctor about possible interventions.
When I was a caregiver for an elder with Alzheimer's about 15 years ago, he'd go off on tirades about anything and everything. The eggs I cooked him were not like the ones he was served on The QE II. Never mind that we weren't ON The QE II, huh? The cookies I bought him weren't the cookies he WANTED even though they were the ones he asked me to buy, etc. He'd raise his walker up over his head & come charging at me like a bull. After about the 3rd time he'd done this to me, I called the Agency & QUIT. Why on earth would I expose myself to potential danger? It's quite easy to get another job in this type of field, so don't put up with any dangerous behavior for any reason. Don't risk life or limb for a job.........disease or no disease...............it ain't worth it.
Good luck!
Use a soft but firm voice.
"You know not to treat a lady ...your wife...one of God's Children... like that".
"I need you to act like your Mama taught you"
"Would you let your Nana see you act like this? Think about her. Remember her and make her proud!"
These are examples. Remember the illness makes a person have a short fuse, feel like a cornered animal, and almost no impulse control. So help them, I a gentle voice, find their inner calm. Find memories and behavior habits they can still link into and feel secure.
I was often called when a LO living across the street got threatening to his wife, or others. This worked..very powerful!
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