Thank you so much for all the love in this group. I've been helping to take care of my grandmother part-time for a year now and she is in need of more care. Going to bring in an agency part-time to help with cooking and errands and such. How should I handle the finances with the caregiver? Do I pay the agency directly and they pay for groceries or do I give them my grandma's debit card? IDK!
I can't imagine giving a new caregiver Gma's debit card.
Do not hand over your Grandmother's debit card to anyone, for any reason.
A person can enter the card on any website and shop away without your knowledge, even after they give the card back, and have left your employment.
You may not discover the theft until much later, and after having to inquire of Grandma, did you buy this?
As a fiduciary, find out ways to protect Grandmother's finances. Suggestions can be found online. You can learn...
I would not give a caregiver a credit or debit.
If you can not order on line and pay that way give the caregiver a preloaded card. You can buy them at most grocery stores in any dollar amount you wish. I would keep the amount small but reasonable. And you must ask for the original reciept
Ask the agency how they usually handle this, and go along with it and monitor things if that's easier -- but with so many delivery services now, like Instacart, do you really need to go through them at all for this one?
And welcome to AC!
Me, I would tell the aide to leave out non-perishable items and put those needing refrigeration in the fridge. Then later I would check off the items that were bought. Do not be trusting. Start from day one looking for things just not right. Do not leave around anything financial like credit card info, check book, statements. Not jewelry worth anything. We had a member where she bought stuff in bulk and the aide claimed yes, she was using 4 rolls of toilet paper a week and as many paper towels. The member started locking things up and leaving out what she thought was needed. Another the aide was taking food.
Its awful that we have to be this way. If your trusting, some people will steal from you. Not sure how they justify it, but its stealing in my book. U may want to put some camera's around.
It is just how some people grew up and get through life. As one commenter learned, the police generally can't or won't investigate if the amount is less than $1,000 - and the thieves know it.
I spent several weeks investigating the various agencies around town, and took advice from several different people before I hired the agency we use. In addition, our caregiver has been with this agency for 13 years.
Do your homework before you hire someone. Good luck with your grandma.
I do have to say that I do a spending analysis every month of all the expenses for the cash withdrawals and debit card payments to enable the family member who control the money to check the bank statement at anytime
It is a good feeling to feel you are being trusted and relied on.
I have been doing dementia care for 20 years and never felt I was not being trusted.
Order the groceries online, pay with a credit card, and have the caregiver pick them up. They don't need any access to finances.
You should have them tell you what Grandma needs and you should place the order yourself to be delivered.
That's what I do for my 97 yr old Dad. I order from Walmart once a week to be delivered to his front porch and the Caregiver puts the stuff away.
I also had cameras installed in mt Dad's House so I can make sure everything was going smoothly.
I used Nest Cameras and found relief that I could watch anytime I wanted 24 7 from my cell oh or laptop computer.
The Nest Cameras weren't hard to install and the Peace of Mind it gave me was worth every penny
Cash and carry with receipts. This has been my system for almost 25 years and it works. If a client had dementia, I would deal with the family directly with the receipts.
This way works. If a caregiver is not trustworthy and rips off the shopping money, it can only happen once and for only the amount given.
When credit cards and debit cards start getting involved it becomes unnecessarily complicated.
If there's a good client/caregiver relationship where they trust each each other, the caregiver will put in a few dollars if the bill goes over what they were given, but they're paid the difference right away by the client or family.
I've done this personally many times. I've paid for client shopping bills in full out of my own pocket if they didn't have access to cash. Many elderly people don't. I would produce store receipts and they would give me a check separate from my pay for money spent. I always refused to use a client's credit or debit card for shopping because this leaves a door open for a caregiver to be accused of stealing or some other nonsense an elderly client gets into their head and becomes fixated on. It's a matter of trust with caregiver/client and family. It's also a matter of the caregiver protecting themselves and their reputation. Cash and store receipts are the way to go for shopping needs.
I've worked for other clients and families who would send me to a store with a list and nowhere near enough cash to cover the bill. So, I'd get the items I could and they did without the rest or someone else went and got them. I would not so much as put up a nickel of my own money because I knew they wouldn't pay. It all depends on what the caregiver. client, and family agree to.
Also with pre-order and pickup or delivery so common everywhere now, that’s a great way to go as well.
NEVER NEVER NEVER
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give anybody access to financial information.
36 years ago I was a nanny. I had a budget of $30 per month for incidentals for the child I was caring for. If I took him somewhere with an admission fee, mine was covered too. I also took him at the family's request to McDonalds once a month. If I had a meal it was covered.
At the end of each month I submitted all the receipts or an accounting on the back of an envelope of monies paid out. If I got him an ice cream, I did not need to get a receipt. The remaining balance was topped up to $30 the next month. I also got $10 per month for gas, as we lived 10 miles out of town.
This worked well for small incidental expenses. I kept "Robbie's money" in a small change purse, an envelope for the receipt and I wrote the items for which we did not have receipts on the envelope too.
I am honest and it was a small sum.
I am 55 and I have never given anyone my Pin, not even my children.
Check the receipt and the groceries. Years ago some of our hired caretakers were taking home toilet paper and groceries.
I learned that someone can clean the account out and there is NOTHING you can do because giving them the security code is seen as permission and it will come down to "She said I could." Then you have to prove that isn't true.
I recommend a petty cash allowance, with it written into the caregiving contract that any money unaccounted for comes out of their pay at the end of the month.
A Rep from the Agency came over to Dad's house to see what would be involved. Therefore, we pretty much interviewed each other. She explained how the Agency works. And Dad signed the Contract.
The Agency wouldn't accept checks or credit-cards. The weekly billing was automatically pulled from my Dad's saving account. And I would get a copy of the bill. It was expensive, so I had to make sure Dad had enough in his savings, if not, I would need to transfer funds from other accounts.
The 1st shift caregiver was a regular scheduled person, thus after awhile I would let her take my Dad to doctor appointments using her own car. The Agency did bill me for mileage to reimburse the caregiver.
Hope everything works out for you, and Grandmother.
Unless the Visa is an actual credit card, they all have an activation fee.
It is true that money can bring out the worst in people. It always amazes me when a family will take the strictest measures to guarantee that the money is protected and well cared for. If only they took such measures when it came to their elderly 'loved ones'.
If a family is willing to trust a paid caregiver unsupervised alone to care for some elderly person with dementia, then they can take a chance and give them cash and the grocery list to do the shopping.
On my last long-term care assignment I was responsible for every aspect of an elderly husband and wife. I was hired at first just for the wife who became completely invalid from LBD. At the time the husband was fine. Then he got sick and I had to take on all the responsibility of him as well. These people kept several thousand dollars cash in the house, and I used to make out the paychecks that the husband would sign because by this time he wasn't with it enough to do them.
Their adult kids didn't bother much with them. When the husband died, one of the sons came down and took the cash out of the house for "safe keeping". He did this right in front of me. I took this as a personal insult because it was. "Safe keeping"? I told him that the money had been in that drawer for as long as I've been working for his parents. Over five years of service. I never touched it other than for the shopping and none of my girls that I brought in touched it period. The adult kids showed the money, checkbook, and credit cards more care and concern than their invalid mother. This always amazes me when I see it on an assignment and it is very common.
I think the biggest issue is that is seems there is no recourse for theft when dealing with an agency. A rotation of different caregivers creates a different scenario than a private hire, long term person.
My banks gift card visas do not have an activation fee. So not all of them do or maybe it is the value of the card that makes a difference.