Mom's ADLs are slipping. She no longer remembers to use soap when I get her to bathe and she no longer remembers to use toothpaste when she brushes her teeth. What "secret" interventions have helped others of y'all that allow your LOs to keep their dignity and still feel "independent" and yet hygienically "safe?"
I'd also tried to give her as much control as she could handle, so she would still feel vital. LIke, let her pick the color blouse she wants or pick out the shoes she wants to wear. I also would compliment my LO on small things, you sure look pretty in that color. I'd praise her for making good decisions. And, I didn't harp on mistakes, but, say that anyone can have a bladder mishap.
Another thing that I still do, even though she is in late stage dementia now and I really don't know if she understands what is being said, is that I brag about her to others. In the MC, when I visit, I bring up her prior jobs, hobbies, family members, history, talents, etc. I talk about the good times we had, how social she was, what a great family she had, etc. At times, she had forgotten, so she loved hearing these stories. Plus, it gives the MC staff a good idea of who she once was. I've told the Hospice staff too.
It is trying because sometimes she just won't wash or let anyone touch her. We just had a two-day experience this weekend. Patience is key, but SUPER fibs about cleanliness, "the doctor says" and "you don't want anyone to say what's that smell" usually gets mom to take care of her hygiene.