I am sole caregiver for my 83 yr old mother. I am 64 and my husband is 71. We have been taking care of Mom for over 21 years since my dad died. She has always been obstinate . She also lies to suit her needs. Now she has early dementia. She always finds a way to go to emergency or go to hospital and eats up all the attention when she's sick. She is bucking me when it comes to her care plans. Now she refuses to cooperate with me about bathing. She is incontinent and has frequent UTIs and she smells when she doesn't bathe regularly or right.
Why did she come to live with you when she was 62? That's awfully young to require a caregiver.
Never give an elderly person (or anyone for that matter) medication without a prescription.
I had a walk in shower done for Mom with bars. (not something u have to do) She had a shower chair. I kept the room warm. She would sit on the chair and with the hand held would wash her down. Then soaped her up, and rinse her off. I had her stand holding on to the bar with her back towards me and I would wash her behind and spray water to clean private areas. I would quickly dry her off and dress her in the bathroom where it was warm.