Any advice and words of comfort would be appreciated. I‘ve never written on this discussion board. This morning I feel compelled to reach out. I am overwhelmed and cry and scream all the time. That is not like me! I am not sure how to give myself a break anymore. EVERYTHING I do seems do feels like the wrong choice. I am caregiving for my 83-year-old father and I feel like this is hell on earth. There are so many layers to my caregiving situation that it is overwhelming. The cost of dad’s care outweighs his resources, my half sisters have now decided to reappear and use this as an opportunity to belittle me, he has a feeding tube that significantly limits what services can be provided to him in the community, he is a legal resident in one state that has good social services and I am resident of one that does not. I am 45 years old, single, childless and must work for a living. Dad cannot take care of himself. This situation has made me realize how little social support I have in “friends” and family. However, I seem to have no shortage of those in my network who have strong opinions combined with no inclination to actually do something helpful. I do have an aunt near me that has allowed dad to stay with her and has just given permission for me to have health aids come into the house to help dad. (Pray this will work. This is all I have at this moment.) My aunt is starting to develop significant cognitive limitations herself. I am in caregiving quicksand. Have any of you had situations in which all seemed hopeless and you got through it? How?
It made me feel better to know what to expect when I had to place my cousin into AL. I'd ignore those who don't offer support. They can only be a distracting and pull you down. I had zero support with my cousin. No one even offered to prepare a meal or even run one errand.
It's tough, but stay focused and know that at some point down the road, your dad will be settled into a place where he will receive around the clock care and you can then exhale.
Thanks for the kind words.