My parents moved from their forever home to an assisted living center in the Minnesota town where I live 6 years ago. I have financial/medical POA and my only sibling does not live close enough to be of help. They get meals & housekeeping, but rely on me for everything else. I do their laundry, refill their meds, handle all their finances, take them to all their medical appointments, etc... Mom is 92 with progressing dementia. Dad 89 feels like he cant leave her alone for more than a couple hours. I am there 1-2 times a week and my dad constantly remarks that he doesn't know what he would do without me. Now my husband & I are ready to retire and would like to live out our dream of moving to Florida, but I am devastated & guilt ridden with the idea of leaving them. How do I enjoy my own senior life when I am responsible for my parents'?
Don't put off your retirement to Florida. Get services set up for your parents and plan to visit often as you can.
My daughter has decided that she wants to live in Colorado after graduating college. I want her to be wherever she is happy and find a career. She will be a long distance away from our home in Louisiana.
If you have always lived near to her then I feel it’s a more difficult decision to make because of your parents age.
Just wanted to say whatever you decide I wish you the best. It is helpful to hear feedback from others but only you can decide what is best for you.
You haven't gone yet, anyway! - so it's a little premature to be devastated and guilt-ridden. But there are difficulties.
Did your parents, with or without your knowledge and approval, move to your town in order to be near you?
When you accepted POA, were you and they counting on your being within practical distance?
When did you and DH begin to formulate the Florida dream, and is this something you've ever talked to your parents about?
Of course you can put your parents on the medication program at their ALF, you can also arrange for them to see the on site doctors who come in as well as the mobile dentists, etc. You can Face Time them, as suggested, and/or hire a geriatric care manager. But there will be times you will need to fly back for emergencies and other events that need your attention. That's my take on the situation and something I feel I'd need to do myself, should I move away.
There is no 'easy answer' here, as I'm sure you know. As much care as they're given in the ALF, they still require regular visits from us.
Wishing you the best of luck!
Yes you might have to make a trip north once in a while but you would probably do that anyway to visit.