I am primary caregiver but am sick myself so have others AT A HUGE COST; and full home care.
I am really losing my patience (not with my mother) but have to REPEAT OVER AND OVER and it is never done
And much worse.
I do not want this person to leave but I really don't know how not to lose my patience!
I need advice on not losing my temper
I have to do EVERYTHING (except for hands on) and am housebound
Simplify it
Keep only the cleaning products you want used in the house
List those products and their purpose ie toilet brush handle with disposable head one in each bathroom.
Clean bathrooms daily
Wipe counters and mop kitchen floor every afternoon.
Change bed linens, towels etc every ? your choice
Thoroughly clean upstairs rooms Tues and Thurs, downstairs Wed and Fri.
Tidy, empty bins and dust daily.
It won't be perfect but also does not insult anyone's intellegence.
As far as the diet is concerned.
Work with a dietitian and come up with a simple menu for mother. Unless the caregiver needs to diet if you require her to eat with mother she should have the same menu but have additional food available in the kitchen or her room.
You can translate your instruction on the internet, it is free. Give both the English and foreign version because the translation may not be exact.
Your LI should have at least 1 1/2 days free per week and a couple of hours in the afternoon.
There should not be much need for interaction between the LI and ourside help unless they need to co-operate over mothers care ie lifting.
You may need to lower your standard a little to achieve peace in the house and reduce your own stress. Don't be breathing down their necks the whole time and they may surprise you. If not time for a staff change.
pamstegman: I am in Ontario, Canada.
vstefans: There may be too many things but they are repeated.
Here is one:
[ ... START OF MENU ...]
MY MOTHERS MENU (SHORT) CHANGED MAY 2014
*** DO NOT USE THE OVEN ***
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
MY MOTHER SHOULD BE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT! KEEP QUANTITIES LOW.
SALT RESTRICTION
Do NOT add SALT (OR SEASONING)
NO SOUP NO NOODLE CUPS, NO CRACKERS
BREAKFAST:
ONE SOFT-BOILED EGG
AND
EITHER CEREAL OR BREAD
LUNCH:
ONE SANDWICH: {UNSALTED TUNA FISH, OR UNSALTED SALMON OR EGG)
OR
A SMALL SALAD
SNACK:
PUDDING OR JELLO
FRESH FRUIT AND FRESH VEGETABLES.
ONLY
DINNER: (7:00 – 7:30 PM) HALF OF A FROZEN DINNER ONLY
ONE HALF (1/2) ONLY of a frozen DINNER (White freezer in basement hall)
Put OTHER HALF into fridge (Please label – what it is and the date)
PLEASE EAT WITH HER. SHE REALLY LIKES THE COMPANY!
IF YOU HAVE A REASON NOT TO SIT WITH HER TELL ME.
DESSERT: ICE CREAM – ONLY use ice creams with “MY MOTHER’S NAME” on lid or label
DO NOT give ice cream with “MY NAME” ON THE LID or ON THE Label
(YOU CAN MIX THE ICE CREAM WITH PUDDING)
NO CAKE (much of the cake has expired)
[... END OF MENU ...]
vstefans: Thank you
I have been patiently repeating rewriting, showing examples, (And ending up doing it myself - at times) If it is the latter I don't know what to do?
I have lists but on rereading them I think they may be overwhelming to someone.
I have the menu above.
Thank you all so much!
From everything you like to have kept clean around the house you need a professional housecleaner once a week who can jump in and clean her own way [without instructions] and still to your satisfaction.
Years ago I almost laughed when a colleague of mine who used a cleaning service more often commented about how they "weren't as thorough as I would be" but I knew to bite my tongue, because what that reflects is just the guilt of not being able to do it all ourselves. Reality is that you can't totally have it done your way unless you are either doing it yourself, or you are Donald Trump. And yes, I will have to keep saying that to myself when I go behind hubby and clean out the sink drain, microwave the dish sponge that still has food particles and is starting to smell, and put away everything from all over the counter, after he claims he has "done the dishes"... LOL.
See All Answers