I have the responsibility to care for my mother. I am also responsible for paying her household bills. She is a Medicare recipient on social security. She was diagnosed with dementia 5 years ago and has other medical issues as well. I now need to be at home with her.
If you bring mom to your home, it is next to impossible to get her out
Everyday we get post after post people burntout, sick, just can't do it anymore, marriage issues, money issue, the list just doesn't end.
Please just think long and hard before you change your life. Read peoples post.
This is not easy, it is the hardest thing you will ever do, and it changes you.
I play on a boccie team, one of the girls I played with last week got kicked off because she though a ball at my husband. I'm just realizing, she just got done caregiving her mother in law, for 8 years. This woman is angry, she is angry because 8 years of her life was stolen from her.
Think about it, that's all I'm asking
If you spend what you should be saving on your mother, then please don't expect others to be responsible for YOU when you face old age without assets.
You mother is responsible for taking care of herself and her bills. If she is unable to then you should help her avail herself of whatever help she can find through the help of the social safety net and governmental assistance.
You, as an adult, are responsible for your own choices.
Before you do make this sacrifice, think long and hard about what your situation will look like a few years down the road after not earning any income. Will you be able to survive after mom passes?
Her SS should be going to pay her bills. What she can't cover than you can pick up. There is help with Utilities and I would look into this now. Especially with heating cost. There's a timeline to be able to apply. If she owns her home, has she taken advantage of all the Senior discounts concerning her taxes? Call Office of Aging to see what resourses there are.
If you feel guilt or obligation then as an adult you choose how to live your life or screw up your own retirement. And many caregivers die before the parent.
Your only option is to call your local social services to check on funds that will not be enough
There are more choices.
They may not be acceptable to you at present but stay open as time goes on.
Family help.
Family + non-family help.
Family + round the clock non-family help.