They want to release Ma from hospice after a month, saying she's not dying. spoke w/ her Dr who said he will approve at-home hospice for her, but he still thinks she's on her way out. I want her home w/ me - so don't even suggest a nursing home - I don't trust them, and do not want them delving into our finances even tho Ma has a life estate w/ our home. The main problem was w/ her bedsores which deleolved suddenly
When my mum came home (and up until that time she had been living a near normal life) I had to rearrange a room that she could effectively live in. Carpets weren't ideal I would have preferred hard floors but not an option in the time allotted. So to conserve my energy (and in the time given) I hired a contractor to deep clean the room. I brought all her favourite ornaments and pictures within her eyelevel so she could see them all and put up new curtains and got her new bedding (making sure it was as similar to the old as possible (not too much change remember)
We werent sure whether mum had Lewy body dementia so everything was plain except for a few scatter cushions that I could recover if the need arose. I bought a second hand dressing screen and recover it so Mumm had dignity when using the commode and I bought a plastic square to go under it. I have a trolley next to her commode with absolutely everything I could need on it and close to hand. Vinyl gloves are critical to good skin care hun.
I would ask the hospice to show you what they do and how often they do it so you can replicate that at home. You may also be able to hire a ripple mattress if thats what they use in the hospice. Ask them they will help you and if they dont ask the manager in writing - they will be obliged t help then but in my experience hospices are fabulously managed and it would be rare for them not to support you. Good luck and remember there is no place like home and if your mum does fail to thrive it will not be your fault
I send you wishes for all the best. Caring for my mother at my home is simply not an option, but I congratulate anyone who can make it work. Don't allow yourself to feel guilt because you have not done anything immoral or illegal by doing your best!
Where my mom is, they have a schedule to keep her moving to avoid skin compromise & breakdown. They fill out an observation report many times a day for that. There's pressure sores and also damage that can happen due to friction, sliding on sheets, slipping down in a chair, etc. Might not be a bad idea to invest in a sheep's fleece for mom to sit on (under protective covering) to aid in that. Learning to transfer her into different positions will be very important to her and your back.
I don’t have any specific advice. I just wanted to say good luck, and wish you well. It will be hard, but in the end you'll be a better person for it (practicing patience and giving care can make you a more patient and caring person), and your mother will most likely be happier.
PS) Just make sure your mother is where SHE wants to be, where SHE is happiest. For example, I know my mother would have preferred to be home if she could have been, but her health problems in her final weeks could not be managed at home. But my mother-in-law currently lives in a senior living facility, in a private room, special for those with dementia, and she’s very happy there. It all depends on what your mother wants/prefers, what her health issues are, and what type of facility is available. Remember, it should not be what you want, it should be what SHE wants, what makes her happy. I know that sounds simple but some people loose sight of that when they get caught up in emotional issues.
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