My 85yo mother’s dementia has progressed significantly but she can still make enough sense to fool you as long as you don’t talk long. After that she repeats the same questions asks off the wall questions forgets 2 minutes ago all the way to 30 plus years ago. She cries and begs to go to the dr and when we get there she smiles and says she’s fine. When they leave the room she will ask me where are we and why are we here? She has pulled some of her hair out and has developed a constant “tick” of picking and rubbing her face and head. I feel like the doctor thinks I’m exaggerating but it is so much worse than they know. What should I do?
It might help to schedule an appointment to talk to the doctor by yourself so you can explain things. Geriatric medicine doctors and neurologists are better equipped to help you figure out what to do. Good luck. This ain’t easy.
If you don't already have durable power of attorney, make an appointment with an elder law attorney. Attorneys are used to determining whether or not their client is capable of understanding the papers being signed.
In front of her, I let MD know short, specific instances- like what you related. Tell him/ her how fast the advance is, any weight gain or loss, and the new ‘ tick’. It could be a med side effect.
The neurologist or the Neuropsychologist will work with the PCP, the Neuropsychologist will work with a Neurologist and a PCP. They are much more equipped to assess the stages of dementia.
As far as "showing" the PCP decline if you keep notes or better if you can provide a vide of a conversation with your mom that "goes off the rails" that might help.
My LO also could perform “social discourse” adequately, but after her testing the psychiatrist indicated that she was overwhelmed by anxiety that someone could “find out” that her memory had badly failed. Her actual language functioning was far more impaired than had been readily apparent.
If you’re not satisfied with the first try, a second opinion is always an option.
The 36 Hour Day very informative and helpful. If you do not yet have power of attorney for finance, health care etc. get it. See an attorney who specializes in elder law, too many mine fields to cover here. Best wishes to you and your Mom, they call it the long goodbye for a reason.
I lost my Mom at least 3 years ago, but she is still alive in a memory care near me at age 95. They do EVERYTHING for her, she has no idea who she is, where she is, lives in this moment only. Can not remember what happened 5 minutes ago ( sitting at the table " Mom was lunch good? Has no idea she just ate.) Has no plans for later. She has wonderful caregivers, is not in pain and just tested positive for Covid. I have not physically been with her since March. It breaks my heart everyday. Been on hospice for 20 months, we pray every night she does not wake up. Good luck.
DL
See All Answers