My 83-year-old mom is constantly bringing junk home (she gets it from trash cans, dumpsters, just finds it, yard sales, etc...). I've told her numerous times to stop and even when she's been caught red handed (a neighbor had her on their Ring digging in their trash can) she'll say she doesn't or that wasn't her. She used to do it randomly during the day but people would chase her away or I'd catch her. So now she sneaks out before sunrise and looks for stuff. Even when I try to be nice and tell her it's not safe and to stop doing it, I'm usually met with a FU. She won't see a counselor, her church set her up with one once, she told everyone she was seeing him and ended up she never saw him (he bumped into her at a church event) and was going to the swap meet. When she was called out on it she changed churches. Any advice or suggestions?
For in-home care to work, it has to work for EVERYONE in the household, which is clearly not the case in your situation. You can't 'stop' a person from doing what your mom is doing, either. Even licensed psychologists often cannot stop a hoarder from hoarding and/or bringing home tons of useless garbage and stockpiling it. So you are unlikely to be able to stop your mom from doing this! You've tried and failed b/c she refuses help, which is typical of people who hoard. They don't see that a problem exists in the first place. The only thing you can do, therefore, is remove her from your home or learn to live with the consequences of her behaviors. I'd be worried about her roaming around alone outside with dementia, though, b/c she can get lost or hurt and then what?
Wishing you the best of luck finding alternate housing for mom.
My mom rummaged in trash when she was young and healthy so don't feel bad. She also went to yard sales, second hand stores. She did it until she died. In my mom's case she was 'rescuing' items that would be beautiful some day: a broken plate would become a mosaic; a broken glass would be melted into a pendant; a broken table would be repaired and refurbished. She did a lot of art and used some of her rescues however most ended up in her hoarder piles.