I don’t get out very often but recently I’ve had to forgo my training program at the gym simply because my father said to me that he’s surprised that my husband lets me go to the gym 4 times a week. I was furious. He still thinks women should be obedient and in the kitchen and not be allowed too much freedom in a marriage. I told him to mind his own business. My husband has no problem with me going anywhere, we have a happy unentitled marriage. He goes and does stuff he likes and so did I up to now. I cancelled my gym membership to shut my father up whingeing about my life choices. I’ve put on a lot of weight and he’s says “ but you used to look great when you had weight off.” I smoked 50 a day and hardly ate. Of course I was skinny. I have hypothyroidism which I was born with, which doesn’t help with weight loss. He just won’t shut his big Yap!!! Opinions about how my husband and I do things in our house. Sorry to vent
Why on earth would you let your father treat you in such a manner?
Second reaction
Why on earth would you let your father move in with you?
Your dad has dementia.
Your dad will not change his opinion, and my guess is this is the way he has always been.
IGNORE him.
DO NOT let him run your life, you are an adult.
Two things to do today.
1. Get your gym membership reinstated. (make them give you a great deal for coming back)
2. Look for Memory Care facilities for dad.
(I think your father is mentally abusive to you and if he is going to stay in your home you need to get caregivers that will be there to help you.)
You need to change your mindset.
You did not "have" to forgo your training....you CHOSE to forgo your training.
I have gone back to the gym and without having to pay rejoining fees, the staff at the gym are very understanding and nice.
But the decision to move my father in was decided 18 months ago so that’s where we’re at right now.
The only good thing about my mother was that she did NOT live in my house. Once was more than enough living together when I was a child. Which was when I vowed it would NEVER happen again.
Move dad OUT of your house so you can take your life back. You deserve a life of your own and a narcissistic old man with dementia has NO filter, plus he's an old chauvinist from way back when when men thought women should stay home and have babies and sweat bullets over a hot stove all day long. My father was One Of Those too, and had quite a few choice things to say to me over the years as well. An Italian from the Old World who once told my mother (about me) 'her legs must weigh 50 lbs apiece' and 'well you're not Sophia Loren' when I asked him if he thought I was pretty when I was a young girl.
So, to answer your question, How do I stop resenting my elderly father's manipulative tactics? Move him OUT of your house ASAP. Dementia can take a really nice person and turn him into a raging AH. Never mind an NPD person to begin with. They will become so insufferable you'll lose your mind. Literally.
Do what's right for YOU now, dear woman.
Good luck
I'm sorry that you gave up your dream.
I want to,mention that my mom went back to college (over my dad's objections) at age 65 and completed her Bachelor's degree at the age of 82.