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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Are you sure its abuse? Does he help your mom? Maybe they provide companionship for each other and its worth it for her? He might need help too. Families have to stick together and help each other but of course should not take advantage. I hope it works out well for you all.
Agree with Annet. Does he help with things around the house? Does he provide companionship that she needs? Does she feel safer b/c someone is there? Is she trying to help him through something to help him get back on is feet?
If not then he really needs to contribute or get out.
There are three people in the story you're telling (at the very least) -- your nephew, your mom, and you. It will help you if you find out more about what's driving each person to act the way they're acting -- starting with yourself. What's at issue for you?
Yes, do NOT assume this is a deadbeat. That happened with my sisters. "You are living there rent free...and what about all that food you eat?" No, you have it wrong, what about the $200 I DAY I should also be paid to be 24/7 caregiver. Also, free room and board and $200 day (or as I was told once... $186 day.)
However, people who are taking advantage, even if they are occasionally mowing the lawn...I think they are easy to spot. TV set on only to his program, she's slurking in the corner, he throws her a plate of food and doesn't care if she doesn't eat it. He has friends over all the time, she has no life. That is taking advantage on a small way...and we all know how it can escalate into total abuse.
And darn, another original poster who lets us all shoot off our big mouths giving advice..and not providing other details.
there are human resources age. that can refer you to elder abuse age. ask for an evaluation of your mom,s sititution, at the least you will have it documented, maybe with outside people knowing, will make a difference in all concerned.
I hear you loud and clear! Similar situation with my Mom. Niece AND nephew, not by same siblings, both leaching off my mother. Started as as I need to live with you until I find an apartment, for the niece, to her loosing her job and just never getting another one. "oh I'm looking" right, in between the partying, body piercings and tatoo getting, smoking, driving her own car (where's the gas money coming from?)....I can only assume with my mother's money since her mother also lives off welfare and my mother. The nephew, went out partying, ended up in accident. Car totaled, his leg badly broken and "he couldn't do stairs with his crutches" he was supposed to just live there until he got his cast off, ell nearly a year later for him and longer for my niece, they are both still there, sponging off my Mom, her house is a wreck, she's supporting them and the nieces cat, (HAS to eat REAL chicken, tuna etc...)
Yes my Mother says she likes to have my niece there, doesn't say anything about liking the nephew being there, yet the 23 &25 year olds are rarely there and functional at the same time! Some of my 11 siblings agree, some don't, some are the parents of these two and abusive of the situation too. None of the others have yet backed me up on any of this in front of my mother, nor helped come clean up the house. Something I think the two bums that live with her should be doing.
Is there anything you can really DO....I've tried and been kicked in the gut by most of the family for daring to speak up....if your Mom is okay with the situation and not being truly or technically , legally ,abused in any way...I'm not sure there's much you can do. Document whatever you can, rally any help you can in doing so, then if your Mom wants to live that way, well, sadly, it's her's to live. My heart goes out to you!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck,
Carol
If not then he really needs to contribute or get out.
3 years is a good amount of time, if she likes the situation and is mentally competent then there is really very little you can do.
Why now, after 3 years, are you concerned?
However, people who are taking advantage, even if they are occasionally mowing the lawn...I think they are easy to spot. TV set on only to his program, she's slurking in the corner, he throws her a plate of food and doesn't care if she doesn't eat it. He has friends over all the time, she has no life. That is taking advantage on a small way...and we all know how it can escalate into total abuse.
And darn, another original poster who lets us all shoot off our big mouths giving advice..and not providing other details.
Yes my Mother says she likes to have my niece there, doesn't say anything about liking the nephew being there, yet the 23 &25 year olds are rarely there and functional at the same time! Some of my 11 siblings agree, some don't, some are the parents of these two and abusive of the situation too. None of the others have yet backed me up on any of this in front of my mother, nor helped come clean up the house. Something I think the two bums that live with her should be doing.
Is there anything you can really DO....I've tried and been kicked in the gut by most of the family for daring to speak up....if your Mom is okay with the situation and not being truly or technically , legally ,abused in any way...I'm not sure there's much you can do. Document whatever you can, rally any help you can in doing so, then if your Mom wants to live that way, well, sadly, it's her's to live. My heart goes out to you!
I have spoken up multiple times
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