Mom's 96. Now I moved in to her home to provide care. My brother was a functioning alcoholic if there is such a thing that lived and supposedly cared for mom. My brother passed and l discovered he had mom take an equity loan of 30k on the house. I've used my retirement to pay the loan and fund everything. Well mom's dementia is beyond tolerable and she no longer is mobile. It's time for a nursing home, my own health is in question. I'm trapped I have no poa and now limited funds. The house is now my retirement and I've been informed of California's asset recovery. Doing the right thing caring for mom has the potential to leave me homeless. I'm stressed to the point that covid dosen't seem like a bad option. Any advice is welcome. At 59 I'm not changing diapers and finding work will be a challange. I had retirement all planned. I thought instead it's back to work.
We should never jeopardize our future when it comes to caring for someone else. So as my lawyer said, we go from here. You need to get Mom into LTC with Medicaid paying. This means her SS will go for her care and any pension she may have. The house is an exempt asset at this time. You may be able to remain in it if u show Medicaid you can keep it up, taxes, bills etc. If not, then you will need to find a place of your own. There is low income housing for 55 and up. A job, there are jobs out there. May not pay lots, but every little bit helps. I have friends, he just turned 72, her shortly. Both work in a hardware store. Lots of Seniors are opting out to work till 70. You have 3 more years and you can start collecting SS. Only 75% but u can collect.
To be honest, you need a lawyer versed in Medicaid. My Mom owned a house when she went on Medicaid. I was a POA and had a hard time selling it because it was run down and other reasons. I was paying the utilities to be able to show the house, I had let the taxes go. I was told by Medicaid to keep very good records but even if I did the caseworker would not guarantee that Medicaid would allow me to be reimbursed if the house sold.
A lawyer may help in finding a way that you can represent Mom without guardianship, which can be expensive. How you can either remain in the house or sell it and get your money back. (There is no guarantee that Medicaid will allow u to stay in the home)
By placing Mom in LTC, you will have a weight taken off ur shoulders. She will get a small amount of money from her SS to help offset her personal needs. In my state its $50 a month. She will get her meals and meds. Her laundry done. 24/7care. All you will need to do is visit. All her needs taken care of. You can get a job. Have some of your life back.
In the meantime, if she is hospitalized and then rehab, you can have her evaluated for 24/7care. If its said she needs 24/7 care tell them you cannot care for her 24/7 and start the Medicaid process and transfer her to LTC. A rehab cannot release her unsafely. And if no one is willing to do the care, its called an unsafe discharge. Do not let them tell you they can help u keep her at home. They really can't.
I am dreadfully sorry. I hope there is someone who can give you better advice than I am able. I wish you the best of luck.