She has Alzheimer's with times of clarity and will find this humiliating. Mom is in mid-late stage Alzheimer's. She claims she is doing "just fine" but now needs help dressing, forgets family members, and has some delusions (often involving me having done something behind her back). She has enough times of clarity along with a real fear of losing more capabilities that I think she will feel humiliated and be oppositional, angry, and suspicious. Do I arrange to tell her in the presence of her pastor? Best friend? Lawyer? My Alzheimer's Assoc counselor? Privately? How do I explain so she understands what guardianship will mean to her?
If you tell her you now have guardinship it's not going to make her more agreeable..
Just do what needs to be done to get her the help she needs..
She will also have her own lawyer at the show cause hearing.
Court appointed guardian really can be a godsend as they can get things done that you would be struggling to do. Like find a bed in a memory care unit, or get a mental health evaluation. Now all moms assets are subject to control by the guardian. If mom owns the house, where bro & her live, it may need to be sold with the proceeds totally use for her care. That's not an issue for you but could be for bro. If bro is able-bodied then too bad. But if he is disabled, it's going to be more complicated but court appointed guardians know how to deal with this.
Also if bro has any issues....like bad credit report, bankruptcy, felonies, child support, drug problem....the judge will not ever appoint him guardian. If you know bro has issues like this & you think bro will want to get guardianship & will play the loving & devoted son role in court, I'd get whatever reports or records that are available as public record to have to present to the court if needed. judge will appoint a short-term outside guardian almost always in these situations to sort out the issues both for elders care & determine family suitability as permanent guardian.
Good luck and let us know what happens.
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