I was given guardianship over my 90+ year old mother due to her inability to make rational decisions. Mom has lived with me for a year while I have made legal arrangements to sell her house which is in another state. While here, Mom's dementia has worsened to the extent that she has been increasingly confused about what state she is in and sometimes who I am. She even gets lost in our modest rancher. Nevertheless, she persists in saying that she wants to go home!
The good news is that we now (finally) have offers for her house and I am about to accept one, but the bad news is that I have no idea what/how to tell Mom. I've always tried to be honest and feel that she should know that she will never be able to return to the home that she and my deceased step-dad worked so hard to obtain. However, I wonder if telling her is cruel. Should I just use a "therapeutic lie" and tell her that it is still there?
I am sorry that your mom is failing, she is blessed to have you taking care of things for her.
Don't stir the pot. Although you probably feel you SHOULD b/c this is a big thing..in the end, it's just a house and she is happy in yours? Then 'that' is home.
The only time I was completely honest & told Mom that Dad had died (7 years earlier) was when she asked me if he left her because "of the way she was". This was the love of her life & thinking that was devastating to her. I told her that Dad had passed away & now he was getting things all ready for her in heaven for when it was time for her to join him. The relief was something else -- her whole body relaxed and it gave her hope for the remaining years of her life. Now THAT she remembered -- if I walked out of the room & came back in, she forgot I had just been there. LOL.
As a wise one said on here -- be in their world; it's real to them.
When my father was in MC, he knew his house had been sold and would complain about it, but it was his collectibles he continued to be concerned about. I told Dad his stuff was in safety deposit boxes at the bank even as I sold off items as good offers were received. I continue to let my mother believe a cousin is living in her great-grandmother's home place when we drive by even though I know it was sold out of the family a few years back. These "fibs" about things that cannot be changed don't hurt my parents in anyway so this is my new definition of "honesty" with them. There's always a part of me uncomfortable with this new definition, but I refuse to feel guilty for putting their best interests ahead of my own.
It sounds like she confused, lost and not processing or retaining information well. I wouldn't distress her further.
(((((Hugs))))))))