My mother headed off to bed early this evening. She said she wasn't feeling well, and indeed she did look miserable. To be honest, she hasn't felt good and has been miserable every minute of every day since I've been here and probably before. I've been here almost five years. I wonder how she keeps going on, feeling so miserable. And to be honest again, living with her has been very, very hard. I must have been terrible in a past life to have earned this.
I'm very fortunate. As sick is mom is, and she is, she'll laugh, smile, and be generally (most of the time) in good spirits. It's tough enough THAT way.
I can't imagine what it would be like if she acted miserable all the time. It would be like carrying around heavy weights all day long.
I hope you can find bliss in something other than gratitude and fairly good humor. I always picture myself as that crabby old lady, though. What I do for mom? Well, I hope I have dementia so bad (like she does), I don't even think twice about it. Because otherwise? I'm your mom: miserable.
Try hard to be of good cheer. Care giving is a gift to yourself no matter how it's accepted. It's awfully hard to watch your body fall apart, I think. And to know....KNOW....that you're not ever going to feel great again. It HAS to be so depressing.
*hugs*
I mentioned to a nurse at the nursing home that my mother's roommate seemed very unhappy. "Yes," the experienced professional replied. "That is what she wants."
I am sorry that your mother is so miserable. Could it be her choice to be miserable? With you as her caregiver she certainly has the best shot at some happiness in spite of her infirmities. Could it be that she just doesn't want the opportunity?
You keep doing the best you can. You deserve to not be miserable.
I am blessed like Maggie. My Mom is still relatively happy with her little life. I keep her in stitches, she sees her 5 yr old grandson often, and can still read and loves too. She is on Celexa and Valium. Worth a shot.
i have a hard time seeing the joy in an ill oldtimers life too but many disabled people will tell you that they are twice the person they was when they were whole . i suspect an enhanced appreciation of the small comforts that the general public overlooks .
thats comical . my aunt edna is most happy when shes being defiant . its just who she is . she faked another pill the other day then showed it to the guy nurse as we walked out the door . i understand now . she isnt refusing meds , shes refusing to be pushed around . shes 90 , not 9 .. pretty shmucking smart too ..
She takes Celexa, but I haven't seen any good effect from the drug. I thought about asking the doctor if we could taper off. There doesn't seem to be any reason to continue it. Mom has generalized anxiety and takes Ativan. It makes her sleep. When she wakes up she is the most unhappy and disoriented.
There is such a deep core of misery that I know I'm not able to help. In her mind she is dying at every moment. I don't think she is near death unless something catastrophic happens. She eats like a horse and drinks plenty of fluids. Her blood work always looks fine.
I just read a post on here about going to a geriatric psychiatrist. My mother's doctor suggested it one time, which made her very upset. "I'm not crazy!" It may be exactly what she needs to do. She has dementia, but she doesn't have to be in absolute misery when it comes to her mood and nerves. It would be nice if I could get her to one. It might not be too bad for me, either!
I used to laugh with my friends about how our teenagers played Radiohead the whole time and then wondered why they were depressed. Waily waily life is terrible owww I'm so miserable oooooeeeowwwwww. Now I just wonder what on earth my mother can have been listening to in her impressionable years...
CM, I worrry. If I've been listening to it so much for years now, will I soon get all depressed and joyless? Oh, wait! I think I'm already getting that way. It can sure weigh a person down living with Sad Sack.