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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Love him for his devotion to her! Wow. Yet, dementia only continues to get worse... and at 90 himself, that is a big load on him. I hope that you are their power of attorney... or it is all a 'no-go'.
Assisted living isn't set up for dementia - but memory care is. Perhaps there are facilities in your area that could house both of them? (Depending on finances and what aid they qualify for...) If only mom went into a place of care, that might just do your dad in... as he now has a function/purpose in life in taking care of her - I wouldn't want to just have him sit at home worrying about her. He would fade fast, in my opinion.
Tough decisions. I would try to include him in the choices as to what is BEST for his wife in what will happen to her down the line. What is available out there that would be a win-win for both of them? He is to be commended just for his chivalry, love and care for her so far (!!!) ... but most likely he can't imagine her mind deterioraring into the further stages that are yet ahead. Tour facilities - all sorts. Don't let the places talk you into taking both of them (assisted living) when mom obviously needs more care. Her care is primary... and go from there. Wishing you the best~
hopeawood, I am in the exact same situation. My 90 year old dad is caring for my 90 year old mother who suffers from memory loss and a few physical ailments that require taking daily vitamins and medications. The thing is, he is totally capable - pyhsically and mentally much younger than his actual age would suggest. However, he and I both worry about what happens to Mom if he were to suddenly get incapacitated by a stroke or die of a heart attack. I would have a better peace of mind if they were to move into a senior community in their town (or mine) that offers memory care, but they won't. Dad says that he "promised Mom" that he would never "put her in a facility". Also, caring for Mom gives Dad purpose and I agree with RedBerryFarm that if they moved somewhere that provides for all of their needs, Dad would whither away from lack of purpose. They live 2 1/2 hours away which doesn't make it easy for me to help with her care. So I visit once a month looking for signs that this situation is deteriorating (which it isn't yet), and pray that I will know what to do when the situation changes... Still feel blessed to have my parents although the worrying is not fun.
hopeawood, my parents were also in their 90's and trying to care for each other. All in all they were doing pretty good, but it still scared me silly because I think they were tumbling down the stairs and not telling me I would see bumps and bruises. And regular calls to help get Dad up from his fall.
My Dad would have moved to Independent Living in a heart beat. My Mom, well that idea fell on deaf ears [sorry for the pun].
As many here, I had to wait for a medical emergency where 911 was called, hospital stay, then rehab, then assisted living. Sadly, that is pretty much the norm.
My Mom went into long-term-care. And Dad was more than happy to have caregivers around the clock to help him at home. Once my Mom had passed. Dad was ready to pack his bags and move to senior care. He liked it there so much, he could kick himself for not moving sooner. Mom was his road-block... [sigh].
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I hope that you are their power of attorney... or it is all a 'no-go'.
Assisted living isn't set up for dementia - but memory care is. Perhaps there are facilities in your area that could house both of them? (Depending on finances and what aid they qualify for...)
If only mom went into a place of care, that might just do your dad in... as he now has a function/purpose in life in taking care of her - I wouldn't want to just have him sit at home worrying about her. He would fade fast, in my opinion.
Tough decisions. I would try to include him in the choices as to what is BEST for his wife in what will happen to her down the line. What is available out there that would be a win-win for both of them?
He is to be commended just for his chivalry, love and care for her so far (!!!) ... but most likely he can't imagine her mind deterioraring into the further stages that are yet ahead.
Tour facilities - all sorts. Don't let the places talk you into taking both of them (assisted living) when mom obviously needs more care. Her care is primary... and go from there.
Wishing you the best~
My Dad would have moved to Independent Living in a heart beat. My Mom, well that idea fell on deaf ears [sorry for the pun].
As many here, I had to wait for a medical emergency where 911 was called, hospital stay, then rehab, then assisted living. Sadly, that is pretty much the norm.
My Mom went into long-term-care. And Dad was more than happy to have caregivers around the clock to help him at home. Once my Mom had passed. Dad was ready to pack his bags and move to senior care. He liked it there so much, he could kick himself for not moving sooner. Mom was his road-block... [sigh].
Mom had caregivers, help her, until she passed. Dad doesnt want though.