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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
From your profile: About Me: I am caring for my mother Arlene, who is 92 years old, living in my home with hearing loss, incontinence, and mobility problems.
If you are suffering from burnout and/or compassion fatigue, you need to get mom OUT of your house & placed in Assisted Living. Then you can enjoy being in your own home again without feeling irritated at having another person invading your space.
If that's not possible for whatever reason, then use mom's money to hire in home help (if she cannot be left alone) while you go out every day and spend some free time alone or with friends. Burnout is real, especially after caring for an elder for a long time. An elder who's incontinent, hard of hearing with mobility issues means that you're constantly yelling to be heard and then hearing, "Why are you YELLING at me?" right? I heard that from my mother ALL the time! But she lived in Memory Care Assisted Living so when she got under my skin, I'd leave her presence. I vowed decades earlier to never have my folks living in my home, and I kept that promise because I knew it would not work out to have mom and I under the same roof for a second time :(
Figure out how to either get mom placed in Assisted Living or hire in home help to give YOU some respite away from her. Too much togetherness is a bad thing; we all need a break from caregiving, that's the God's honest truth of the matter. Google compassion fatigue and see if you're suffering from it:
Check into adult daycare. Some will pick up and bring home. When my Mom was still alive all I wanted was time in my house alone. I didn't want to have to go anywhere. I just wanted her out of the house for awhile. Good luck in getting your time at home alone.
I feel your pain. My 79yo mom has been living with us for almost 7 years. Her condition has steadily declined. I have a caregiver here 4 days a week for 4 hours. It's a big help. Then I know mom is taken care of and eating, taking her meds, doing her PT, etc. All the things I am SOOOO tired of doing. The monotony of it is so challenging for me.
Luckily my mom goes to my sister's house to stay for 3 - 5 days a month so then I get a short window of time to enjoy being alone with my hubby in our own home! If there is no where for mom to go, look into respite care. Have her go to a facility for 2 weeks to give yourself a real break. You can make up some story about going away on a business trip or just a vacation, etc. Your mental health is important so don't worry about a little fib. It's in everyone's best interest.
I feel like I almost have PTSD with my mom. I am looking into AL or MC for her and it will be coming relatively soon. I keep waiting for "something" to happen where she needs to go to the hospital and from there it would be sooooo easy for her to be transferred to another facility instead of coming home. The first 2 years she was here she went to the hospital at least once each year. That trend has surprisingly not continued. Pushing me into a corner where I'm going to have to deal with figuring it all out and getting her into the car to move her and being the bad guy.
Coping with everyday irritations? Not easy. I mostly have taken to distancing myself and interacting less and less since it's so difficult to deal with over years and years. Not a great plan but I feel less guilty now that she has a caregiver who spends quality time with her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
From your profile:
About Me:
I am caring for my mother Arlene, who is 92 years old, living in my home with hearing loss, incontinence, and mobility problems.
If you are suffering from burnout and/or compassion fatigue, you need to get mom OUT of your house & placed in Assisted Living. Then you can enjoy being in your own home again without feeling irritated at having another person invading your space.
If that's not possible for whatever reason, then use mom's money to hire in home help (if she cannot be left alone) while you go out every day and spend some free time alone or with friends. Burnout is real, especially after caring for an elder for a long time. An elder who's incontinent, hard of hearing with mobility issues means that you're constantly yelling to be heard and then hearing, "Why are you YELLING at me?" right? I heard that from my mother ALL the time! But she lived in Memory Care Assisted Living so when she got under my skin, I'd leave her presence. I vowed decades earlier to never have my folks living in my home, and I kept that promise because I knew it would not work out to have mom and I under the same roof for a second time :(
Figure out how to either get mom placed in Assisted Living or hire in home help to give YOU some respite away from her. Too much togetherness is a bad thing; we all need a break from caregiving, that's the God's honest truth of the matter. Google compassion fatigue and see if you're suffering from it:
https://www.google.com/search?q=compassion+fatigue+&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS896US896&sxsrf=ALiCzsa87H6M6q1UJGGFzQ2Pvbmk8Ew7_w%3A1660756801830&ei=QSP9YtitMriB0PEPsZGykAM&ved=0ahUKEwiY0uyZsc75AhW4ADQIHbGIDDIQ4dUDCA4&uact=5&oq=compassion+fatigue+&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAMyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEOgcIABBHELADSgUIPBIBMUoECEEYAEoECEYYAFCqDViqDWD0HWgBcAF4AIABgQGIAYEBkgEDMC4xmAEAoAEByAEIwAEB&sclient=gws-wiz
Best of luck!
Luckily my mom goes to my sister's house to stay for 3 - 5 days a month so then I get a short window of time to enjoy being alone with my hubby in our own home! If there is no where for mom to go, look into respite care. Have her go to a facility for 2 weeks to give yourself a real break. You can make up some story about going away on a business trip or just a vacation, etc. Your mental health is important so don't worry about a little fib. It's in everyone's best interest.
I feel like I almost have PTSD with my mom. I am looking into AL or MC for her and it will be coming relatively soon. I keep waiting for "something" to happen where she needs to go to the hospital and from there it would be sooooo easy for her to be transferred to another facility instead of coming home. The first 2 years she was here she went to the hospital at least once each year. That trend has surprisingly not continued. Pushing me into a corner where I'm going to have to deal with figuring it all out and getting her into the car to move her and being the bad guy.
Coping with everyday irritations? Not easy. I mostly have taken to distancing myself and interacting less and less since it's so difficult to deal with over years and years. Not a great plan but I feel less guilty now that she has a caregiver who spends quality time with her.
Good luck!