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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Beth, depending on your Mom's age and her physical health, chances are slim that she would be able to do any weight type training to build up her strength. There comes a time when elders just cannot do that anymore.
If your Mom had any type of major surgeries in the past, that in itself can zap energy. It did for me, I never did regain the strength I had 10 years prior, and here I was a gym rat for decades. So it isn't really refusal, we know that our own bodies just can't do it anymore :(
Only thing one can try is walking, but if Mom is using a walker, that wouldn't work unless Mom had one of those rolling walkers that have 4 wheels and hand brakes. Makes it easier to get around.
My Dad [90+] had one of those rolling walkers, and his caregiver would try to get him outside to walk for a tiny bit. And here a couple years prior, he and my Mom use to walk 2 miles a day, come rain or shine.
If you could provide more details about her, it would be helpful. Basically, there might be a medical reason for her refusal- depression, anxiety, burgeoning dementia, pain, etc. But, if she’s mentally capable, it’s her decision. You can take her to senior exercise classes and see if she makes friends and gets motivated. You can refuse to act as her legs around the house, forcing her to move herself. But, once the process of losing muscle has started, unfortunately I’ve found it’s very difficult for seniors to regain their strength.
Looking into options for helping your mom once she can’t get around easily can reduce your stress.
You mentioned in your profile that your mother suffers from depression. That's a biggie. Depression robs you off any will and motivation to do anything. I think she needs to see her doctor about it and see if some medication can help. I know it works for my mom.
Also, most people need a reason to exercise. I know you think your mom should exercise to get stronger, but for her, maybe she thinks: "stronger? for what?"
I know of an older lady who took care of her bedridden husband for several years. After he died, she lost all her motivations to do anything. Her reason to get up and do things each day was gone. Now, she just sits and expects to be waited on by her daughter. That daughter is my friend. And boy, is she frustrated with her mom's helplessness.
My mother tells anyone who will listen that she "doesn't believe in exercise". Which means she must believe that it's okay to be wheelchair bound, as she is, but no, she complains bitterly about it. Like the old saw says "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". In my mother's case, I think she hates exercise and physical therapy so much because #1, It hurts, and #2, she isn't capable of doing a perfect job of the exercises, so she wants to stop trying. We've been having the same argument now for 4 years, going back and forth with signing her up for PT and then she quits. She then goes downhill and wants PT again, so we sign her back up. Then it hurts, and she's miserable, and quits......you get the idea. So after the last crisis in the hospital and rehab, she's in a wheelchair full time. Still getting PT and still carrying on, of course.....but that's her personality. Never satisfied with ANYTHING! Good luck and much strength for the battle ahead. May the force be with you
Thank you so much! Shortly after I posted, Mom fell against her dresser on the way back from the bathroom and fractured 3 ribs. while in hospital, also found compression fracture in L1, L2 vertebrae. Neuro did a procedure, "cementing" between bones to aid with pain relief. She left hospital and is now in rehab. Been there 5 days now. So far has been compliant w/pyhs. therapy team. So for now it is day to day to see if she can improve and regain mobility. Prior to all this she was able to navigate around her house with a Rollator. I hope she has will and incentive.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If your Mom had any type of major surgeries in the past, that in itself can zap energy. It did for me, I never did regain the strength I had 10 years prior, and here I was a gym rat for decades. So it isn't really refusal, we know that our own bodies just can't do it anymore :(
Only thing one can try is walking, but if Mom is using a walker, that wouldn't work unless Mom had one of those rolling walkers that have 4 wheels and hand brakes. Makes it easier to get around.
My Dad [90+] had one of those rolling walkers, and his caregiver would try to get him outside to walk for a tiny bit. And here a couple years prior, he and my Mom use to walk 2 miles a day, come rain or shine.
Looking into options for helping your mom once she can’t get around easily can reduce your stress.
Also, most people need a reason to exercise. I know you think your mom should exercise to get stronger, but for her, maybe she thinks: "stronger? for what?"
I know of an older lady who took care of her bedridden husband for several years. After he died, she lost all her motivations to do anything. Her reason to get up and do things each day was gone. Now, she just sits and expects to be waited on by her daughter. That daughter is my friend. And boy, is she frustrated with her mom's helplessness.
Good luck and much strength for the battle ahead. May the force be with you