I’m running into constant roadblocks trying to get things for my mom ie: wheelchair or a different walker or a smaller sling, etc... Medicare denies everything! I am already paying $220 a week for caregivers and that’s only part time. I cannot afford full time care while I’m at work and she doesn’t qualify for Medicaid or apparently any other assistance to cover the costs. We were hoping that PT and OT would be enough to rehabilitate her to where she can eventually go back to living alone..... but I don’t see it. I’m at the end of my rope. There is no break from it. She’s becoming a little hateful and snarky at times and then I react that way back. Then I feel guilty. I’m either in a pissy mood or I’m crying. No in between. Help!
Make sure you have a elder law attorney helping you. The $200 you pay her/him will be WELL worth the CRAP you have to put up with right now and being denied what your mother is rightfully owed.
Make sure you add a "rent" amount and "utility" amount to applications while she lives with you. Think VERY carefully about having your mom live with you or not after she can't live on her own. The guilt will be OVERWHELMING, but as many people have found out here, that would have been the way to go years ago. Learn from others on here. Read through answers in the past. Be open with your mom and let her know that future bad feelings and a broken relationship are not worth it to you. You love her dearly and do know your limits. As you have found out right now, with the little time she has spent with you, having her with you full time is NOT an option.
Be best to you and your mom on this new journey in both of your lives.
Always always ask. If the answer is no, you've lost nothing. But if the answer turns out to be yes, you'll be glad you asked.
Call them today.
As my husband is still working full time & my SIL lives in Georgia ( we are in NJ as is my MIL ) & I’m a retired nurse ...it ALL fell on me.
Finally, I just said enough is enough! I did NOT retire ( esp. from nursing!) to keep on doing same thing & unpaid no less! Selfish? Perhaps ...but fact is fact!
We searched & searched till we found a lovely reasonably priced Assisted Living facility just miles from her former home. In NJ quite the feat to find a financially conducive solution!
Yes, she is paying out of pocket( till she spends down her money & Medicaid kicks in) but w/ deducting her living expenses @ home ( including the Aid) really Just dollars more & peace of mind for everyone!
Was it easy ....NO! The decision alone was difficult...& the handling of finances & closing up her home ....nightmarish @ times! BUT all worth it!
There have been few bumps in the road ( sometimes she accuses us, esp. my husband) of having stolen her “stuff” but in general she has adjusted rather well.
She goes to all the activities...things she would never be able to do @ home. She will turn 94 in Sept. & this is best & safest solution for her at this time.
I recommend it highly. Sounds like a family meeting needs to be called w/ your family ASAP!
Best of luck! Keep us posted and remember to take of others one MUST take care of oneself first!
Yes this is frustrating and there are no magic answers, especially when they are only on Medicare.
Our father is currently on hospice and it is free to have them evaluated for this. Her doctor can tell you if this is even remotely possible but it may pay for supplies and a volunteer who can regularly stop by. An aunt has been on and off hospice several times but this has helped while she has had it.
Check into a county case worker for her. This person should be able to let you know what she qualifies for and whether she would qualify better for assistance if she was not living with you.
A lot of work on top of what you are already doing but hopefully some help in the long run.
Many blessing to you for taking this on. You are a special person.
I know it’s cliched, but try to take it one day at a time. That’s the way I survive caring for my wife who can be very good some days and just awful other days.
Not sure if anyone can help with this. Call ur Office of Aging and see if they can help.