Dad is 90 and has dementia. Although he’s never been assessed for it, based on his symptoms we think vascular or Lewy body. He sometimes gets a thing in his head and won’t let go of it. For most of these situations, I can redirect or just comment on it (really? That’s interesting!). But sometimes there’s no way out. Example; despite being immobile and incontinent, dad is convinced that my brother is going to help him buy a car so that he can drive up North to his lake house. We sold his car last spring, and he is not cognitively healthy enough to drive. He currently is in hospice care at a local assisted living residence (their memory care was full). How do you get him off that topic and on to another to help reduce his agitation and stress?
I think there is a point of no return in terms of their behaviors. Our best efforts to redirect work sometimes, but if it’s past a certain point, I think it’s near impossible. I’ve tried music, photos, stories of family members, and nothing makes a dent when he’s in that difficult state of mind. The only thing that does seem to help is lack of stimulation. Lights off, quiet room, no people. Makes sense, really. When you’re upset, you like to be alone.