A man, who claims to be a friend of mom's, is visiting her only at meal times. She is in nursing home and she is on puréed food. She can feed her self with encouragement. My aunt has sent him there, basically, because she doesn't think she is getting adequate help. Mom will be placed in hospice care next week.
What do I do? I don't like this guy. I'm not found of my aunt. She's always been manipulative and money moochers.
Again, thank you everyone for your suggestions.
I have spoken with SW, Omsbudsman, 2 attorneys and the police. Nothing can be done. If he becomes unruly, the facility can ask him to leave. He doesn't. I've tried.
However...
---Short staff conditions epic in facilities = not enough people to feed patients,
---much less figure out if any visitors are banned, unless someone made a huge scene, such that staff remarkably remembered the person enough to tell them to leave.
Might be better to learn:
1. if the relative really instigated that guy to visit; or,
2. if the guy thinks he's gonna score a "free" meal himself; or,
3. if he is there for some other reasons [which might be OK...or not].
Help feeding Mom maybe's a good thing; it's fairly common for staff to over-estimate patient's abilities. Unless there's more to it...like manipulating Mom to get something, be it a "free" meal, or new legal papers signed, or a piece of the estate.
Without more answers about why the guy is there, hard to tell.
If he's there actually helping with Mom's care, staff usually appreciate that help...as long as the visitor keeps behaving properly.
And yes...mealtimes in facilities are like herding cats. It's nuts!
Add to the ones milling in the dining areas, the ones needing fed in hallways near nurses' stations, and the bed-bound patients...OY!
Staff [the ones doing hands-on care], at both acute and long-term care facilities, are chronically under-staffed, under-paid, and over-worked. Friends and relatives who want to come help with meals, etc., are thankfully appreciated!