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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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She has just been diagnosed with beginning Alz. She is very needy and is draining on me. She has been living with us for 3 years and has become more and more difficult.
As to the feelings of guilt -- they may increase along with the dementia. There may be conflicts ahead as you arrange for more help, have to set limits for Mom's safety, etc. She may not understand and like what you need to do. I think that guilt seems to go with the territory with caregiving, and especially caregiving involving dementia. We want to do our best. We strive for perfection. But in dementia there is no perfect solution, so we always fall short of our own intention.
It will help to learn all you can about your Mother's condition. Set your goals realistically. Aim for "good enough" instead of perfection. Let go of unearned guilt as much as you can. You did not give your mother dementia, and that is what is at the root of her problems. Not Your Fault.
Some guilt feeling may still hang around. Push them to the background and make the best decisions you can for your mom, yourself, and your family. Don't let guilt control your decisions.
sunflo2 has given you good advice about planning ahead and about being sure you have some respite.
Best wishes to you as you embark on this challenging part of the journey.
This is really difficult since she is already living with you and the disease will continue to get worse and her needs more demanding. Start opening up conversations with her now.
Make sure you have all the legal paperwork up to date including DPOA for medical and financial. Next, have the hard discussion about how she wishes and where she wishes to live or have care going forward. That time may come when you and your family no longer can meet her needs. Understand her finances and research resources you can tap into to assist with her care needs. Start getting some outside help in the home -- cleaning person, companion for mom a few hrs a week, etc so she can depend on someone else as well as you and get used to having someone else attend her needs. Encourage her to go to senior center for activities while she is still able. Visit and consider adult daycare programs in your area to give you a break. They can be very reasonable. Take care of yourself. Make time to get out with friends or have friends over so you don't isolate yourself. Consider attending caregiver meetings that might meet at your church, community center, hospital, or AL, dementia care facilities.
Continue to visit this forum and gain additional insights and yours and moms future. Many have walked your path and have a wealth of knowledge and empathy.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It will help to learn all you can about your Mother's condition. Set your goals realistically. Aim for "good enough" instead of perfection. Let go of unearned guilt as much as you can. You did not give your mother dementia, and that is what is at the root of her problems. Not Your Fault.
Some guilt feeling may still hang around. Push them to the background and make the best decisions you can for your mom, yourself, and your family. Don't let guilt control your decisions.
sunflo2 has given you good advice about planning ahead and about being sure you have some respite.
Best wishes to you as you embark on this challenging part of the journey.
Make sure you have all the legal paperwork up to date including DPOA for medical and financial.
Next, have the hard discussion about how she wishes and where she wishes to live or have care going forward. That time may come when you and your family no longer can meet her needs.
Understand her finances and research resources you can tap into to assist with her care needs.
Start getting some outside help in the home -- cleaning person, companion for mom a few hrs a week, etc so she can depend on someone else as well as you and get used to having someone else attend her needs.
Encourage her to go to senior center for activities while she is still able. Visit and consider adult daycare programs in your area to give you a break. They can be very reasonable.
Take care of yourself. Make time to get out with friends or have friends over so you don't isolate yourself.
Consider attending caregiver meetings that might meet at your church, community center, hospital, or AL, dementia care facilities.
Continue to visit this forum and gain additional insights and yours and moms future. Many have walked your path and have a wealth of knowledge and empathy.