On Nov 30 mom fell and I had to place her in a nursing home. She had respiratory distress on Jan 30 and went into a coma. I remain at her bedside until a miracle happen and she woke up.
I placed in an acute care on wednesday. She was making progess. On sunday I got a call saying she starting to eat soft foods and was on the bipap. Needing a break I spent some down time. At 1234 monday morning I received a call that she had taken a toll for the worse. I sped there only to be too late she had passed. I feel so guilty that she died alone. That I spent alone time that sunday. I am totally alone. An only child no other family. I have cared my mom for nearly 10 years and have lost contact with my friends. I just do not know how to move on
My Mom passed after a fall caused serious complications and she was in a nursing home for 3 months. She also was getting "better" and out of the blue she went into a coma like state, and passed a couple days later.
For me, knowing my Mom was 98 years old and had lived a wonderful life, it was her time to go. Her quality of life had been slipping over the last couple of years.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's tough and it hurts for a long time but it changes after some time and becomes easier to bear.
I'm sorry for the loss of your mom.
Try to give yourself some time to grieve. Yes, you have to move on but maybe you don't have to move on today. It's a process that will develop over time.
My dad was on hospice in a nursing home. I skipped seeing him one evening because I was exhausted. I called the nursing home later that night and they informed me that he had just died. Had I gone to see him I would have been with him when he died. It crossed my mind that he waited until I wasn't there but I'll never know. And once the numbness began to wear off I expected to feel overwhelming guilt but I never did. There was no way I could have known he was going to die that night. I was busy with my own life as well as overseeing his care and I did nothing wrong by not going to see him that one night.
You have nothing to feel guilty about.
As for moving on maybe you can reach out to one of your friends that you lost touch with and go to lunch. See a movie. Do some of the things you weren't able to do when you were caring for your mom. But most importantly give yourself time to go through this. And always know that you have nothing to feel guilty about.
You did what was responsible - rest for yourself in anticipation of providing further support and assistance. Take comfort though that you did get help when it was needed.
I am sorry for your loss, but think of the good times, the legacy she left for you, how you would want to honor her, and integrate those good memories into your plans for moving forward. Think of how she enhanced your life, the lessons you learned from her, and how you can adapt those to your own life.
And give yourself as much time as you need to grieve.