They both have medical problems and there is little money. He is emotionally child like and does not take any responsibility for himself. We are happy to help to some degree but things seem to get worse and worse. Has anyone else encountered a situation like this? The son is in his late 50s and works part time. How do we find out what resources are out there to help them?
Thanks for everyone's comments.
If the former, he might be eligible for SSI. If he's just not motivated, that's a different story. My intent is not to be critical, but to discern whether or not he could be participating more and helping his mother.
I do think Maggie's suggestion is wise; you have a legitimate human concern but no legal rights and from your brief description, this sounds like a situation in which some professional involvement is going to be necessary. You could seem like a savior and become enmeshed in this family's situation.
You have zero standing. Best to let professionals guide the way.
With gathering all the info that you can, you can present it to your neighbor and see what she is open to doing. There will come a time where if your neighbor still lives in a house, to start downsizing and moving into something more manageable.
You wrote that you are "happy to help to some degree". Be careful that you don't become enmeshed in your neighbor's lives too deeply. It's wonderful that you are going to try and assist them, it sounds like they need help, but try to set boundaries. It's very easy to go from being helpful and neighborly to suddenly finding yourself responsible for them.