OK, I didn't want to horn in on someone elses post. There were similar questions. Just recently I asked for help, and had suggestions from here. Moms Doctor called a home health aid company, and they sent out a nurse to check her out. Well Mom threw a screaming fit. She said she didn't need any help, and if we tried she would kick and hit them. Needless to say, the company said that in that situation, they would not subject one of their workers, to Moms abuse. So NADA! How the heck can I convince Mom that she DOES need help? She insists she can can and does clean herself, and needs no help. If I even bring it up, she screams and yells that she will take her walker and get up and leave! I'm totally frustrated, and totally burned out! She's 96 and I'm 68 and not getting any younger. I haven't had a break in nine years.
Does she have dementia? It makes a big difference.
Anytime I needed my dad to accept outside help (outside of my caring for him) I asked my dad to do it for me. My dad knew I did a lot for him and took care of everything for him so when I would ask him to do something for me he'd agree, for my sake.
But like Babalou brought up, if your mom has dementia that's a whole other ballgame where logic and reason won't do any good.
I think I would question if your mom was thinking clearly, wouldn't she want for you to have this happen, as it benefits you both? When the ability to reason that way goes away, I would be inclined to explore why. Then, you might be in a better position to figure out how to work through. If there is mental decline, your approach might be quite different than otherwise.
No matter what we do or say, our parent will insist that they can manage by themselves, they need no help at all. I think it is the fear of losing yet more independence. And if you are living under your Mom's roof, that makes it even harder to break away, because everything has been status-quo and Mom thinks it will go on forever. In our parent(s) eyes, we are still the "kid" and not a senior citizen ourselves with our own age decline, aches and pains.
One writer on this forum, Windyridge, came up with a good idea that worked when dealing with his parents.... he pretended the outside help were old high school buddies or friends. Windy's Dad [who has dementia] accepted that reasoning.
Therefore, if you are under the same roof with Mom, you can saying the outside help is for "you" and not for your Mom. Maybe that might be more acceptable... or maybe not.