Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She refuses to accept me as her husband before bedtime . She gets angry with me sleeping in our bed. looks for me screaming 'where's my husband'. Threatens me with her first and keeps me from going to sleep.
Deeshusband, I am so sorry that you and your wife are going through this.
Dementia causes a number of serious changes to the brain that can result in very difficult behavioral issues and delusions. Although you mention Sundowner’s Syndrome, I think that another, called Capgras Syndrome, is at play here. This particular delusion arises due to the dementia patient’s cognitive inability to correctly identify other people. In this case, your wife’s brain is incapable of accurate facial recognition, therefore she believes you are not her husband. Misidentification can cause the patient a great deal of confusion and agitation, and they may come to the most rational conclusion they are capable of: that their spouse or child has been replaced by an “imposter.”
Returning to the idea of Sundowner’s Syndrome, it sounds like you are on the right track if her delusional behavior is escalating later in the day. If this behavior is more consistent, then it may simply indicate that her condition is progressing. Either way, I would speak with her physician about the possibility of making some changes to her medications. Some drugs can help to reduce anxiety and fear that result from increased confusion and disorientation. This might be able to give you both some peace and quality rest at night.
I’m sure some other members will come along with more suggestions. I hope this information helps you and you wife. Remember that adequate sleep is extremely important for both of you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Dementia causes a number of serious changes to the brain that can result in very difficult behavioral issues and delusions. Although you mention Sundowner’s Syndrome, I think that another, called Capgras Syndrome, is at play here. This particular delusion arises due to the dementia patient’s cognitive inability to correctly identify other people. In this case, your wife’s brain is incapable of accurate facial recognition, therefore she believes you are not her husband. Misidentification can cause the patient a great deal of confusion and agitation, and they may come to the most rational conclusion they are capable of: that their spouse or child has been replaced by an “imposter.”
While there is no treatment for Capgras, there are some techniques that you can use to help reorient your wife and soften the delusions she may be experiencing. You can find a few of them in this article:
Capgras Syndrome: How to Cope with a Loved One's Delusions
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Caring-for-a-Loved-One-with-Capgras-Syndrome-197688.htm
Returning to the idea of Sundowner’s Syndrome, it sounds like you are on the right track if her delusional behavior is escalating later in the day. If this behavior is more consistent, then it may simply indicate that her condition is progressing. Either way, I would speak with her physician about the possibility of making some changes to her medications. Some drugs can help to reduce anxiety and fear that result from increased confusion and disorientation. This might be able to give you both some peace and quality rest at night.
Additionally, countless members have come up with creative, drug-free methods for keeping their loved ones calm during episodes of sundowning. You can find some of their tips here:
How to Cope with Sundowning: Tips from Family Caregivers
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/How-to-Cope-with-Sundowning-Tips-from-Family-Caregivers-200000.htm
I’m sure some other members will come along with more suggestions. I hope this information helps you and you wife. Remember that adequate sleep is extremely important for both of you.
Best of luck to you, Deeshusband. Hang in there.
This must be so very hard and heartbreaking. I'm sorry.