My dad has Parkinsons', dementia-the start of Alzeimers He is getting worse with confusion and many other things. A huge issue is money, he doesn't understand I can't just give him hundreds, he has needs to be met, bills to be paid, etc.. I'm sure you all know I have been accused of stealing amongst other things! Seeing what is happening to my dad kills.. I used to have an awesome relationship with him and now I'm losing that more and more each day. Back to the money.... I always give some when he asks-even if I haven't gone to his bank I give him some of mine to quiet him, but he doesn't grasp that I should be repaid? We go over why I am his payee, all doctors agree the best for him. I know about the monopoly money idea, but I know that will not work at this time. It is such issue that I'm getting yelled at insulted, etc., my dad would've never been like that w/me before becoming sick so I understand its the disease. He goes to a day program during the week-the Veterans ADP and they know what I've just told you and they don't understand what he needs $300 in his pocket for. Let me add dad was always frugal with money-maybe he just needs control of it because he's afraid? Please, any ideas on how to deal w/this particular issue? Thank you all! Valery
From my experience with similar situations, I would just try to keep it short and direct. When questioned, I would say that I have handled the matter and its been taken care of. I wouldn't bring up complicated concepts like reimbursement. That concept is obviously something he doesn't get. You aren't likely to convince him that he doesn't need $300.00 in cash in his pocket. I'd come up with a solid answer and keep repeating it. Long explanations don't normally work and even if they did, he would likely forget it, so you'll have to repeat it over and over. Can you give him a prepaid credit card with $10.00 on it and let him think he can use that if needed?
I would discuss it with his doctor. False accusations against family is quite common. Sometimes this is a stage though and it might not last indefinitely. If he's overly anxious, medication might help bring him some peace of mind.
Sorry that I don't have better news, but often the great relationship is not possible due to the mental decline. It's no one's fault. It's just a result of the mental decline, so insults have to be endured.
He could be demanding a lot of cash for any or no reason. My cousin used to ask for cash because she wanted to give it to other residents in the Assisted Living so they could buy cigarettes. I would give her a few dollars to buy treats from the machines, but she would lose it or give it away, so I just started taking her the treats myself.
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