My Mom is 84 years old and was diagnosed with Dementia about 8 years ago. Her disease is not being called Alzheimer. My two sisters and I have designated nights we spend the night with Mom. We have a caretaker that stays with her during the day. Mom doesn't really eat, two bites of pancake a day if we are lucky, drinks very little, and cannot get out of bed most of the time. She may get up, with assistance, once every few days. Today her legs gave out and she had to be lowered to the floor. The caretaker has been bathing her in bed for a month now and Mom has wore depends for a couple of years. She sleeps most of the time and stares out the window. She does know who we are, however, she recently has forgotten some of the names of the great grandkids and grandkids. Mom is down to 78 lbs. We had Mom in the ER approximately two weeks ago where she was diagnosed with a UTI and severe dehydration. I know she is already dehydrated again. We have tried to have her associated with Hospice because it is difficult to get her to her Dr. appts. to obtain her refills on her medicines. Because she still knows her name and ours, she didn't qualify for Hospice with her diagnosis of Alzheimer. They are now trying to qualify her based on her lack of nutrition. It is so sad watching her melt away. We love our Mom, but this is no life.
My Mom didn't want to eat, either, she was painfully thin. Her nurse found out that if she put ice in a cup with Boost or Ensure, my Mom would drink it. As for knowing names, my Mom would always call me by name when she saw me... but one time while visiting her, she also called a couple of Aides by my name... [sigh].
Yes, it is sad watching a love one disappear before our eyes. With my Mom her passing was welcomed because she had no quality of life left.
The best you thing you can do is to just be at your mother's side as much as you can. Encourage her to drink Boost shakes, water, juice; she doesn't have to drink the full cup. Also, make sure she's isn't constipated. My mother will not eat any meals - but will drink Boost shakes, water and juice - whenever she's constipated.
Have you looked into Palliative care? If not, you should ask for an evaluation. Try to find a Palliative care agency that also does Hospice so your mother will have the same doctor. The Palliative doctor can take over all of your mother's prescriptions and order in-home labs, x-rays, etc., so your mother will not have to see outside doctors. If your mother's mobility and/or strength has given, then taking her outside to this or that doctor may not be work her so Palliative care is a good option to now consider.
My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
I can imagine the struggles you are going through however, I just don't understand why Hospice won't step up to the plate. Please call them again and get your mother's doctor involved!
When deciding on treating your mother for this or that, and in this case, another UTI, consider her quality of life before and after the medical condition that lead to her being this way. Think about what her life will be like after this bout of UTI. I'm not advocating you don't treat your mother...just consider the big picture of her life will be like in the next few years. Talk it over with family... Would she want to live in her current state? Aging of the body and mind doesn't stop and another medical issue is on the horizon. It's so, so hard to make the tough choices when it comes to caring for our aging loved ones. We always want more time with them. We always want them with us.
Hugs to you...
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