MIL has dementia. Has needed 24 hr supervision for 6 years. The first 5 we provided with limited help from caregivers to help with showering. Last year, she was moved to level 1 nursing care. She is private pay and it is costing a fortune- 11K per month. She has assets but they are fast dwindling. She is 98 and very frail, but she continues. I’m very afraid she will outlive her money and be left to go on Medicaid which will be very difficult for my husband to face.
just venting.... I know there is no real answer to this question. It seems so wrong for people to be left to become merely a body with no humanity remaining.
So sorry that you have to deal with this, take care and keep posting, it will help.
One other hint I learned from this forum is to watch her decline. If she changes from month to month, she probably has months left. If you see a decline each week she probably has weeks left. If day to day decline, it probably can be measured in days. This was spot on in my case. All hard to deal with, whether fast or slow.
Before you help her apply for Medicaid, you and your husband should know that in a lot of states there is a 5-year "look-back" period that the county scrutinizes her financial activity and situation (so please check with her county to know how far back they intend to check). I would review her financials to make sure you don't have co-mingled funds, no gifting from her within that window, you are not co-signers on loans or credit cards, jointly own properties, etc. If you have any doubt about this, please consult an elder law attorney who specializes in this. If the county spots anything it doesn't like in the application, it could delay your MIL qualifying or incur penalties and then she'd be out of money when she'd need to still private pay. An attorney would be money well spent and it should be paid for out of your MILs funds.