Dad's memory is horrible. He takes his medicine 1/2 the time (thyroid & a acid reducer) and isn't eating well. I make him sandwiches and a roast with veggies and buy snack food for him. He eats the sandwiches, forgets the roast is there and snacks on mostly meats (Costco chicken, hot dogs, salami, etc). Of course, he has his 12 pk of light beer every day. He'd rather fill up on beer than eat. He is sleeping more during the day but that could be because he takes a sleeping pill at night. He shuffles his feet when walking and talks about dying all day long. My husband and I are exhausted dealing with him and his properties. We have been repairing a mobile home on his property (rental) every weekend for the past 4 months. He cannot remember how to do repairs; he used to build houses doing it all himself (plumbing, electrical, construction, etc). How long can he last this way? I feel guilty that I want this over. He is very stubborn and doesn't want any help except from us. No hired help (no lawn guys, no cleaning lady). I'm so tired.
Mutual funds can be withdrawn easily and might be an option though.
And think over whatever any financial planner advises and make your own decisions.
May I ask who is purchasing the 12 packs of beer that your Dad has every day? Does your Dad still drive?
How long can your Dad last that way? I have a feeling the Alzheimer's/Dementia isn't going to create a crises, but the beer drinking will as it has a heavy impact on ones system. Your Dad has insomnia, mental confusion, loss of coordination, doesn't want to eat... all side effects from over use of beer.
And it is time for you and hubby to stop helping with all the house and lawn work. At time we tend to enable our parent to keep up their lifestyle while we have to change our own. Of course your Dad won't hire a lawn guy, he has your hubby... of course your Dad won't hire a cleaning crew, he has you.
I'd be extremely concerned with a dementia patient being in charge of taking their own meds, especially sleeping pills. He could forget that he already took it and take it again. That is very risky, IMO. I'd discuss his physical symptoms and medication issues with his doctor.
It's likely that eventually, you will not only be taking care of his properties, but of him as he progresses. Eventually, the person is not able to care for any of their needs, including bathing, toileting, feeding etc. I'd discuss it with your husband and see an Elder Law attorney. Do you have Durable POA and Healthcare POA? I would think you would need those things in order to care for him and his affairs/properties.
And I agree, don't move in with him or move him in with you. You lives would be over for God only knows how long. You may have already done so, but try and get all the legal and financial stuff in order, will, POA, end of life directives and all the rest.
Tip for leaving food. I learned to wrap the dish in clear plastic so she could see the food. Anything covered with foil or lid she would not see or think to look underneath and it would go to waste.
I do hate to say that often a severe decline or crisis is needed in order to have the person in a position that you can help them.
What advice would you give someone elso who reported those facts to you?
I'd call APS and report him as a vulnerable adult.
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