My father in law is the person I speak of. He has been going down hill for a while, but we were notified yesterday that he can't swallow food or water, and if they try to feed him (which they have had to do) he chokes and aspirates. We live about 3 hrs away from him and go see him every other weekend.
I was with him almost every single day. I helped him with almost every meal. I could tell he was going downhill when he started having eating problems. He would take the food I gave him into his mouth, but he wouldn't chew. Liquids just dribbled out of his mouth and down his chin. It was the beginning of the end. He became totally unresponsive.
Dad lasted six days after he stopped eating and drinking. I was there day and night those six days. I kept his mouth and lips moisturized with the swabs the nurses gave me. (Dad already had directives in place that stated he wanted NO measures taken to keep him alive if he became unresponsive.) He died at seven o'clock that September morning.
Of course, it is different for everyone. My brother's mother-in-law died in January of this year. She, too, got to the point of refusing to eat or drink. She held on for almost three weeks before she died.
Staciecr, I would talk to the hospice workers. They can give you guidelines, but remember that it is different for everyone. I wish you peace at this time.
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