My father-in-law passed away last September. Before he passed he told my husband that he wanted him to bring his mother up here to live with us, to keep her out of the nursing home for as long as possible and to get her away from my husband’s brother (he was being mean to both my mother and father-in-law).
We filed for guardianship/conservatorship in October and are now in a battle with my husband’s brother and sister over it.
We even told our attorney to let the Court Administrator be the guardian/conservatorship as long as she can stay in our household so we can take care of her. Which her doctor signed off on it.
How long will the judge let this battle continue before just throwing up his arms and assigning guardianship?
There is more detail on their other post:
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/fighting-in-laws-siblings-for-guardianshipconservatorship-485165.htm
If you have legal authority through conservatorship/guardianship you will be able to place her in a facility near you, be her advocate to make sure she is well cared for, and to make her legal and medical decisions. I think this is your best bet. Not fighting for conservatorship in court then taking on the caregiver role to a needy elder in your home. That's a bad idea. Don't do it.
First of all, the this brother who was "being mean" was, in fact, the POA, and CAREGIVER (more importantly) to the parents, and living in the parents own home, the he is going to remain so unless there is some
SOLID PROOF that he was abusive.
Hearsay isn't going to be enough. You may need the testimony of your parents' doctors. You may need the testimony of other family and neighbors who saw abuse (and I mean more than shouting matches, which some families seem to enjoy).
Another thing that is going to weigh heavily is the testimony of the mother.
If your mother is COMPETENT even mildly enough to say she wishes to MOVE to live with YOU now, then you are pretty much fine.
But if Mother currently is not competent judge won't take the parent unless she can describe a wish to relocate.
Can't know the particulars of your case. But when there is precedent (and that's present in a current caregiver?) then it takes a mountain of real evidence to make a switch that means moving a senior from her home location, from a caregiver, to another home location and a new caregiver. I wish you luck. Only you can know the whole story here. Now it is only to prove it to the court.
And yes, in all this, lawyers get very rich. The costs now of a custody battle is from 10K to 50K. If you WIN you can often be compensated as the new guardian. If you lose, you will not.